A lot of you regular readers out there have probably noticed that this has been the longest period of time that The Monstro has gone without an update. There is a really simple reason for that: I simply am not funny anymore. I sit at my computer for hours on end trying to think up some hilarious anecdotes, but they just aren't coming. Then I asked myself, "Drew, why the fuck are you worried that you are no longer able to entertain your blog readers? You toil for hours for the sake of their enjoyment and you get nothing in return." After I came to this realization, I developed a mindset much like that of Russell Crowe's character Maximus in Gladiator. Now I am just bitter about how all these people are entertained by my pastime, and the only reason I continue to do it is so that I may one day get the opportunity to murder my arch-nemesis. He didn't kill my family, but he did something much, much worse. What's worse than family-murdering? Not much, but when someone eats your last piece of pizza that you bought and then you go up to the box expecting a delicious slice of sausage pizza only to find greasy cardboard, you'd want to murder as well. I'm not sure who this person is yet, but I plan to draw them from the shadows by continuing my facade as "funny blog guy" while silently growing more embittered until revenge consumes me, much like in Batman & Robin(definitely the worst Batman movie and arguably one of the worst movies of all time period.)
Are you not entertained? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?
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