The Goat Roast

A bunch of vegetarians and vegans at Whitman College are crapping their pants over the moral outrage that is the tradition of the Goat Roast. Each year, a few Whitman students buy a goat and have a little camp-out before finals and eat the goat. It is killed very humanely and the meat is fully cooked so as to not give anyone a belly ache. Then a huge debate exploded about the goat's "right to life." I'm not even going to delve into that area, because when you start trying to say "goat" and "right to life" in the same sentence, I just tune out and start imagining episodes of Wild Boyz. Anyway, I was thinking about ways to have a similar event like the Goat Roast without upsetting all the herbivores on campus. I figured that a good way would be to roast animals accidentally killed, like varmints killed by cars on the road...or "road-kill" as some people refer to it. There are many delcious types of varmints that could be roasted at Whitman's "Varmint Feed," a few of which can be seen below:
















All these varmints are found milling around the roadways, and it's only a matter of waiting until you can have a delicious roast varmint right before finals week. Enjoy!