Throughout ones life there are various experiences that will lead you to believe in the paranormal. The following is a few of my observations that lead me to believe that there are "others" among us.
-Every time I turn on the water to take a shower, the nozzle is always aimed outside of the shower as far as possible, causing me to make a catastrophic decision: do I wet my clean towel sopping up the floor or do I keep my towel dry and give a hearty aqueous "fuck you" to my neighbors downstairs as the collecting water slowly drips onto their duvet cover? The ghosts obviously find my naked moral dilemmas hilarious.
-Every time I like a girl, it always turns out that she is actually a man. I am convinced this has to do with lycanthropy. Lycanthropy, for those of you uneducated in the ancient tales, is the condition exhibited by humans who turn into horrendous combinations of man and beast during certain times of the day or month. Werewolves are a prime example of lycanthropes. I think that when I begin hitting on these "women" they are in fact women, but after I have had a few beers the moon emerges from the clouds and their adam's apple practically punches me in the face.
-Every time I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and the moon is visible, I glance out the window to see a pale hairless man sitting atop a nearby house. He is always staring directly at the moon with his glowing red eyeballs. He will slowly turn his head, clockwise, until his chin is above his nose and then he will fix my gaze until I can bring my screaming consciousness back into my body and hurry past the window to try and get what remaining urine I have in my bladder into the toilet without becoming so cripplingly terrified that I pull my own teeth in horror. I call him the moon man.
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