Board Game Heaven

Board games remind me of log cabins. Log cabins used to be legitimate forms of housing. You would cut an oxen-sized swath through the great American wilderness and when winter started breathing down your neck (back in the day you knew winter was coming because one of your kids died) you would chop down a bunch of trees, build a log cabin, and live in it. Your whole family would live in it. One room. One room means sex in front of the kids. You need kids to work the fields, so you had to get used to having sex in front of your own children. Nowadays, log cabins are just a gimmick. You might have a house in the woods, and it might have logs attached to the outside, but it sure as hell is not a log cabin. People only stay in log cabins nowadays for the irony of it, like "look at us, its gusty and we don't have television. We're like the settlers." Board games have a similar history. They used to be the only form of gaming entertainment available. You played Monopoly or you built a puzzle or you watched your parents have sex. That was it. Nowadays people play board games as some sort of half-assed attempt at getting back to "the roots" or whatever. Families will play board games on family night in order to bond, like they will go out and stay in a log cabin for a few days. Then, just like log cabins, after playing a board game for a while you realize that it sucks. Even a fun game, like Settlers of Catan, sucks after a while. I haven't played that game in months, and I am never like "I wish I was playing Settlers of Catan right now." Even at work, where I want to die from boredom, I don't want to play Settlers. Board games are boring, and that's the bottom line.