Sea Turtles Bring Peace to Middle East

There are some endangered sea turtles that call Lebanon their home, and somewhere in the midst of all our relgious and political squabbling we forgot to ask the turtles what they really wanted. Did we ask the turtles if we could drop phosphorous bombs all over the Hamas rebels? No. The sea turtles wouldn't want anything to do with bombs, because bombs look like the mortal enemy of the sea turtle, the bowling ball. I am sure that if Israel just realized that there were baby sea turtles, INNOCENT baby sea turtles dying every day so that some silly thousand-year long war could get settled that they would re-think a little bit; perhaps it would make them take pause, and contemplate on the sea turtle. What is a sea turtle? What are its traits? What are its markings and its territorial behaviors? Do sea turtles have the same faith as land turtles? If not, should the sea turtles preemptively strike at the land turtles just in case the land turtles decide they want the beach that the sea turtles use to lay eggs? These are the types of questions that leaders in the Middle East need to be thinking about. Thinking about the nature of these turtles. They are defensive creatures, they have shells and talk like Southern California beach-bums. These turtles wouldn't harm a fly except for the Lebanese fly, the main diet of the sea turtle. These turtles are thought to be blue, sometimes green, both colors that are important in old English heraldry. Blue stands for brave, and green stands for "of virile seed." So really, these are brave turtles, and virile turtles (they lay 1000 eggs) so perhaps we need to rethink war. Perhaps we need to focus on the important things in life. Perhaps we need to watch more boxing matches and football games, perhaps we need to play more Halo and practice shooting our firearms and just get our minds off of war for a while, because that is what the turtles would want. At least, that is what the turtles make you think the turtles want, due to their mind contol powers.