I heard a radio advertisement today for a church. Not just any church either, it was for the glorious Chapel of Joy. When I picture a Chapel of Joy, I imagine something of a mix between the castle of King Kandy from Candyland and the horrific creations of the Japanese animators of movies like Spirited Away. I turns out that the Chapel of Joy is remarkably un-specatular, solely due to information provided in the radio commercial itself. When it comes time to finally tell the radio faithful where the Chapel of Joy is, the commercial says its "Right behind the beatiful temple of our Mormon friends." If you were giving someone directions, it isn't very helpful to say "my house is the black house behind the black house, you can't miss it." If your house is blue, then sweet. You can use the black house as a geographical "land-mark" to help your drug dealer easily locate your place of leisure and entertainment. So, using that "logic" that I just invented, it wouldn't be very helpful to the millionaire with money burning a hole in his pocket and a heart full of God that can only bet let loose at the Chapel of Heaven if the directions were "go to the beautiful temple behind the beautiful temple." What IS behind the Mormon temple in Pasco? A burned-out warehouse...612 Wharf Avenue to be exact.
The thing is, figuring out that the Chapel of Joy wasn't appealing to they eye wasn't even the best part of the commercial. The BESTEST part of the commercial was when the voice-over guy focused on how much FUN people had at the Chapel of Joy. One guy screams "we adobt villages in Africa...just for fun!!" Then they start proving it, goddamn it. They put up wells and libraries. Then they "let loose the fun" and sit back and simply "observe" this African village that they have made into a self-sustaining brainwashed zombie camp. I don't like the idea of relgious conservatives making a fucking ant farm out of a Zulu village...but I just can't get those cupcake-topped towers of the Chapel of Joy out of my head. I have to join.
Then I must be surrounded by dozens if not hundreds of different Temples of Joy.
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