Happy Halloween.
Walk up and down main street with your kids in costumes. Or not in costumes. It doesn't really matter. You'll get candy either way. If the kid is in a costume, they have this sense of entitlement. Like they're owed candy for their effort. Whereas if they don't have a costume on, you feel sorry for them 'cuz maybe they couldn't afford one or whatever, so some candy (or maybe a Monopoly gameboard) would probably brighten their day.
Trick-or-treating on main street is easy because all the local business are handing that shit out. Working the tasting room of a major winery is a trip though because just about every other parent is like "Uh, are these the trick-or-treats for me?" and points at the wine. Yeah, like I'm gonna give you a bottle of wine because you dressed up like a nine to five slap-dick.
Also, what's the deal with older kids trick-or-treating? At what age does Halloween go from being scary/candy to being an expression of sexuality? Whores and/or crack whores abound. And they're turning tricks for fucking candy. I have a liberal-arts urge here to go into something about how Americans don't want to own their sexuality, so they express it through costumes and put-ons, but I also have an urge to dress like a slutty pirate. Apparently this holiday has connections back to pagan stuff that the stuffy Christians were not okay with. And that makes sense.
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