I'm down with Jesus.

Sometimes I talk to religious people about the practicality of their faith, and they get offended when people like me take deities off of their most on-high pedestals and try to bring them down to Earth. I try to think about what Earthly indulgences the holy beings we worship might enjoy to partake in. The Greeks and Romans did it, and they had flourishing societies. At what point did our gods grow out of eating a good meal or watching a sunset? Who knows. My question is, do you think Jesus would like go-karts?

I think he would, and I think that is a question that good Christians should contemplate. If you worship Jesus you might as well think he is a cool guy to hang out with. What if Jesus came over and he wanted olives on the pizza, but you're like "I hate olives" and Jesus was like "Don't worry man, I'm chill with olives." You would totally think Jesus was awesome. Then it would be easy for him to say "You know what I did with that pizza? You should resolve your conflicts in the same way. Do as I do" and then he would totally school you in Mario Kart 64, because 1) He loves go-karts as already established earlier and 2) being holy, he probably has holy reflexes, meaning he would be an awesome gamer. The point is that parables in the Bible tend to get people confused and focusing on the wrong parts because they are antiquated. Like when Jesus raised Lazarus from the cave. You tell people that story, and you get questions like "Why a cave? Who gets buried in a cave? Were there bats in the cave?" and then the point of the parable is lost because everyone in Sunday school wants to go watch Batman all of a sudden. People need to think about how Jesus would be cool nowadays, because anytime someone backs you up when suckers are fronting on you, you are totally down with them, so that is how you can make people down with Jesus. It makes perfect sense.