A Convenient Truth.

It is a convenient truth that Al Gore's new movie An Inconvenient Truth looks to be about as pertinent as Fahrenheit 9/11 was. A bunch of liberals in Seattle and San Francisco are going to go watch it and shit themselves in the theater, and then go home and donate a bunch of money. All the in-trailer reviews have been saying things like "This is the scariest movie you will ever see" and supposedly the New York Times is a credible source for arbitrary information like that. I don't know a lick about that movie but I am surer about it NOT being the scariest movie I will ever see than I am about my own gender, and I am naked right now and can plainly see my genitalia.

The fact that liberal pantaloons are collectively being crapped over a movie that AL GORE made makes me really sad about the future of documentary filmmaking. I'm not even saying this movie is a BAD movie, but it was such an EASY movie to make. Liberal fearmongering is just as prominent as conservative fearmongering. While the fundamentalists are freaking people out about how the homosexuals are going to make the NFL non-contact anymore, Al Gore is scaring everyone with obscure "data" about how if the ice caps melt, some shit will go down. I hate to break it to EVERYONE, but it is impossible to make 90% of the world's population to give shit about the icecaps. I can guaratee you. Most people care about food, and if they're fed, they care about money. Rich liberals make these expensive documentaries to coax other rich liberals into donating money to foundations founded by other rich liberals.

On the other end of the documentary spectrum you have March of the Penguins which made me want to cry. Not out of sadness or compassion, but how people took the tactics used my Michael Moore to make Charlton Heston sound like a jackass and made a bunch of dumb penguins look like the most moral and upright creatures on the planet. It's all about taking a ton of footage and editing it to please you.

I am going to make a documentary about fearmongering documentaries, but I'm going to get a kid with Down Syndrome to conduct the interviews because otherwise the movie will just be boring as hell, and I have a ton of fun hanging out with kids with Down Syndrome because they're so refreshingly spontaneous. An interviewer with that kind of spontaneity will take the movie in crazy directions, and they'll also get really bored if someone starts talking about gun control or global warming.