Mascots!

So Whitman College is trying to get a new mascot. Many people on the sports teams here believe that a Missionary just doesn't unify teams like it should. A more widely accepted "unofficial" logo has just been a W and C interwoven. Many people have been trying to think of new mascots to submit to the school for a vote. If students are allowed to vote for a new mascot, then the winner will be accepted as the school's official mascot and a design will be created to go on all the sports team apparel as well as all future Whitman gear. A lot of people have been promoting names that are equally idiotic. People want to get rid of the Missionary because it sounds corny and we're not a religious school. People want to change it to the Sweets because Walla Walla is famous for its sweet onions. Give me a break. People want to call the team the Blues because we live at the foot of the Blue Mountains. First off, they are more like snowy hills, and secondly, the Colorado Rockies tried that already and they suck consistently.
I have decided to take this into my own hands and determine a mascot for the school. After much deliberation, I have decided that our mascot should be the baboon. Baboons are chill primates, much like humans, MOST OF THE TIME. Every once in a while though, baboons will just freak out and rampage all over the savannah. If you have ever been to the zoo, I'm sure you have seen at least one baboon totally freak out. Their fangs are about 3 inches long and they have wicked manes. If that isn't intimidating what is? Teams playing Whitman will never know when the beast will emerge, so they'll play conservative and we'll always win. They won't want to tick us off because they know that we will most likely freak out and bear our bright blue rumps as a sign of dominion.

If you attend Whitman, please support the push to have the baboon elected as our official mascot. I have begun to make a few shirt designs to be worn to sporting events; the first one is a shirt that simply says "Baboon Vs. Man" on the front. A lot of people won't get it because they don't attend Whitman and they don't associate themselves more with a baboon than another human like we will. But that is how it will be if we have this sweet mascot. If you actually want one of these sweet shirts, check back because I will put them up on CafePress soon enough.