My girlfriend is currently abroad in Spain, and it is just too expensive for me to make the trip. Considering I have a friendly community of supporters out there, I decided that it is time to pay your dues! Just kidding, I actually am just offering my services in any imaginable way to earn money for the "EuroTrip 2k5" fund. I will take my laptop with me and blog from the tip of the Eiffel Tower! I'll blog from the canals of Venice and from the beautiful meat gardens of Bor in Serbia.
The easiest way for you to contribute money is by just clicking the hell out of the ads on this page. Also, if you're around Whitman and you want someone to do your bitch work all day, you know where I live. If you don't go to Whitman AND you don't have the time to click a bunch of ads(which is preposterous) then you can just mail me a bunch of money in an envelope. You know that change you get from McDonalds that is a crumpled up dollar tangled with a reciept and a bunch of annoying coins? Just drop that in an envelope and mail it to me, I'll even throw away the reciept for you so you can pretend its not charity.
I can even paint you a fancy picture, or design your wedding invitations. I'm also very skilled and making baby kitty calendars, which make excellent gifts for the grandparents.
If you still don't have the heart to dish out your cash, I'm afraid I have no choice to but to send my friend Joey after you. Joey didn't graduate high school because he killed a street vendor in the Bronx because the vendor put too much mustard on his hot dog. Joey has a talent for making people pay up when they don't wanna pay up. Usually Joey dedicates his time to settling gambling debts, but I beat him at tetherball and he is my slave for two months.
It's either a calendar full of baby kitties or Joey knocking on your door with a pool cue and smile. What's it gonna be, wiseguy?
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