I have the most glorious of memories from my times spent on the islands that my cruise ship visited. I have plenty of pictures that I will post online once I get back to Whitman so that you can all see how beautiful these islands were. That being said, I have some really horrible memories of being aboard the ship, with the exception of eating my meals which were delicious...the crew aboard this ship manages to produce 14,000(!) meals a day for the guests and the crew, and they are all 4 course masterpieces. It makes a certain chef I know who bitches about cooking for 40 seem like he isn't doing his job...
The last night on the boat just kind of hammered it home that a cruise ship is not the place for someone older than 20 or younger than 30. It's odd being in this "dead" age group, but it's true that the boat itself doesn't really offer you much if you fall in between. If you're under 21 it's glorious because the drinking age (for beer and wine only, unfortunately) on the boat is only 18, and even younger good little boys and girls can visit a sketchy island liquor store that will be more than happy to look the other way for a few extra dollars. You gotta hand it to these kids though, they get pretty creative when they sneak their booze onto the boat. They buy 1 Litre water bottles and fill them with the clear alcohol of their choice. Then they make sure everyone else on the boat knows they are drunk and are obnoxious about it. It really baffles these 16 year old guys when the girls their age don't find their drunken stuttering very flattering, and they react in the way any reasonable man would and simply conclude that they have to go try to hit on older women, who simply laugh them into a far corner of the boat where they continue to consume alcohol alone together in some sort of homoerotic coming-of-age ritual that involves being piss-drunk in front of your parents and their wealthy friends.
To go upwards past thirty...all those folks are married. You'd get really fucking annoyed (even if you didn't have a girlfriend who was abroad) really quickly if you saw these young married couples having a blast during the day, drinking and partying into the night, and then cooly strolling back to their suite for a night full of awesome sex under the stars on their private balocny. I admit I am a bitter and envious man after returning from this cruise, but I feel like Allah will reward me for my patience soon enough.
The flight home was freakin' miserable, and I should have known it would get off to a bad start when woman in the ticket counter in Puerto Rico hadn't even heard of my final destination. She said "You are going to...Boise?" with an odd look on her face as pronounced the city "boys." Long story short after 9 hours of wonderful air time (they showed Bridget Jones' Diary 2 from Miami to Houston, Joy!) I get to Boys only to find that my luggage must have gotten off a few stops too early. So now I have to sit around and twiddle my thumbs (read: masturbate.) and hope that the airline gets my bags here in time for me to jet back to Walla Walla and finish some shit I have been neglecting while drinking rum in under the Caribbean sun.
I'm bringing back some really delicious rum that none of you can have but maybe I'll let you look at it for a dollar, and you can sniff it once or twice if you wash my car. I've gotta buy a shitload of paint supplies when I get back to school, so hopefully my charge account for the bookstore is already warmed up because I'm gonna ride that baby all the way to the bank.
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