Shotgun Weddin'

Today we were headed to one of those famous Las Vegas shows put on by a French circus troupe when I saw a big wedding party standing on the sidewalk. They were smiling, having a great time. The bride was dressed all in white, surrounded by her bridesmaids. They were all drinking Bud Light and smoking cigarettes. It was picture-perfect. The proud father standing in his cutoff t-shirt and cowboy hat, making an off-handed comment about the "uncomfortable" amount of "foreigners" in Las Vegas. Various other family members were chasing cars and breathing through oxygen regulators. Yet others were navigating the masses of people as best they could with a small joystick and a cart with some liberating title like "Rascal" or "FunMobile."

When I was at the performance, there was a large group of people similar to the wedding party sitting in front of me. They were talking much louder than they had to, tipping me off that alcohol might be involved in the equation. The performance was "asian-themed" if that is even a word, or a theme, or anything, so the actors/acrobats were'nt speaking English. To be fair, I don't think they were speaking Mandarin or Thai or Malay either. I think they were speaking a gibberish language just intended to sound like something slightly Asian to 99% of the audience. Anyway, the people seated in front of me immediately began to express their displeasure with the show. They were overly loud about their displeasure, causing numerous hushings from the other audience members and theater employees. They finally chose to leave on their own free will, stating upon departure "This fuckin' sucks, I thought it would be in English." The tickets for this show, at least face value, were $150. These people, "fuckin' rednecks" as my brother so eloquently called them, spent over $1000 on tickets for their group, and all left after 30 minutes because the actors weren't speaking a language they could understand. I'm sure after the show they felt like complete asses when they found out nobody in the audience understood the show. Complete asses.

Ok, who am I kidding. They hit the slots, kept drinking, were kicked out of the casino, and were beat by the police. But a man can dream about the intellectual conversion of others. He can hope and dream.