Dedication.

Dedication to a journalistic ideal. That ideal: providing nonsensical semi-journalistic quips about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness through the lens that I, Drew, view the world swirling around us. Currently the world swirling around me is called Sin City. I am in Las Vegas, the city where you can spend $50 on a bad hooker or a good steak, you take the pick and you take the consequences.

My initial observations in the airport about people travelling to Las Vegas were pretty dismal. A group of sad-looking, aging, over-tanned women with their hip Abercrombie cowboy hats and over-sequined flip-flops were spending a lot of time loudly talking about the clubs and all the guys they would meet. Me, being a guy, thought "you're not going to meet any guys." So, to let them know what I thought, I wrote that sentence on the napkin that came with my peanuts and I dropped it casually on the tray in front of them as I walked by. I know they got the message because they quickly hushed their conversation, and one of them began to cry about how she was never going to get married or have babies. Me, being a guy, thought "you're never going to get married and have babies," but she already knew that, and I was only given one napkin anyway.

My first trip through the casino/hotel revealed to me that despite the "unique" theme of this particular casino/hotel, it was exactly like every other casino/hotel in Las Vegas, and indeed, in the entire world. (I have not actually been to all casino/hotels in the entire world, but if you read the blog, my propensity for gross generalization should not be a surprise to you at this point.) What was pretty remarkable about the situation is the new card system they have for slot machines. I saw a small Asian man with a lanyard attached to his jacket that was attached to a card stuck into a slot machine, and he was yanking away, shooting for that new Dodge Viper! I'm pretty sure that puppy just saps your room account, which is pretty much like gambling for free, because you're probably paying for your room on a credit card.

There are also malls inside every casino, and inside these malls are super-hip clothing stores where guys have their hair combed into mohawks and the girls have so much makeup on that they start to look like shit again. They have cool, hip names like "X-S" and "Streetz" and they sell underwear for $500 and screen printed t-shirts with a couple colors and picture of a bumble bee for $1000. I almost bought the bumble bee shirt because it was badass, but the guy behind the counter starting going off about how nobody had ever heard of the band that was playing in the store except him and his friends, so I walked over and punched him in the face. Now I can't go back to the Aladdin, but that hotel sucks anyway.