The paradox of the college degree.

There are two parts to this paradox. I will present each part in two sections, titled "Section 1" and "Section 2." Each section may-or-may-not be made up of sub-headings and perhaps a bullet point here or there. Or a bullet hole, if someone is trying to shoot you in the back.

Section 1: The paradox of posessing a college degree.
If you get junk mail like 99.99% of other people who use email, you have most likely been solicited by websites saying that you can get a college diploma in less than 6 weeks. Most of these sites do not even demand that you take any classes. What these sites do is sell you fake diplomas from your favorite institution of higher learning for a nominal fee, and it takes 6 weeks to print it out with your name on it and ship it to you. These diplomas, I am told, are almost indistinguishable from their legitimate counterparts. So it would seem that it is rather easy to acquire a college degree...compared to actually attending school. Here is where the paradox comes in. Why, if it is so easy to get a perfect forgery of a Harvard degree, do people bother with attending college? Why not just buy the degree and go get a high-paying job at Johnson & Johnson or Maersk Shipping? The reason is that while any Bob Streetcorner can buy a forgery of a Harvard degree online, he would have to be a college graduate to use the forgery competently. An employer would think something was up if he got a job application for Burger King Manager and there was a Harvard degree stapled to the back of it. Being a college student, I would know to research into what companies check transcripts and what companies do not. I would know where to flash the degree, and where to sit on it. Bob Streetcorner would fold it up in his pocket and whip it out at the movie theater trying to get a discount.

Section 2: The paradox of earning a college degree.
College students spend, on average, four years earning a college degree. It is generally assumed that over this time you gain more and more knowlege, and so you become "smarter." It is also generally assumed that if you have a degree, and you haven't bought one (see Section 1) then you are a "smart" person. People will come to you asking for good Scrabble words and to fix their computers. You won't be able to fix your car, but you will be smart enough to buy one that has the lowest probability of breaking down. So, in general, you are a "smart" person for going to college. You don't like to admit you don't know about something, but college taught you to bullshit. You either know about or can fake knowing about almost everything. This is an amazing gift for only four years of your life. Now for the paradox. You, college graduate, and Bob Streetcorner are both buying a hotdog at the hotdog stand, and Bob Streetcorner whips out his fake degree for a discount and you chuckle at his expense. Then a bright light flashes in the sky and colors flash everywhere before a giant tortoise drops from the sky and lands shell-down on the asphalt, spinning furiously down the street and out of view. You, college graduate, will look at Bob Streetcorner, and he will look at you, and you will both say: "What the fuck was that?"