not to beat a dead horse

not to beat a dead horse, but i think a follow-up to the sam-aaron mile duel is in order. Last night (SUNDAY) around 10pm brandon came over to the monstro with a slightly deranged look in his eye, demanding to race me in a mile. It should be noted that brandon has run with me a total of one other time in his life, as he mainly prefers the wheeled mode of transportation. Although I had been hungover all day and played 2 bruising IM football games over the weekend there was no way I was going to say no to Brando so we planned to head over. Just then Sam appeared at the monstro in an equally crazy mood and proceeded to grab beer from my room and chug one immediately. Clark was over hangin out too with annabelle and some cheese sticks. As we headed over to the track sam had two more beers and ate 6 cheese sticks. So 3 beers and 6 cheese sticks deep sam took the track with brandon and I, wearing no shirt in 44 degree weather and only boxer shorts. Something told me this wouldn't be quite the battle as on friday. Gus had taken a break from finishing his thesis to time us and started us off. Sam immediately jumped out to a huge lead but I was sure I was going to beat him as he just chugged three beers and eaten 6 fuckin cheese sticks. After one lap Sam led me by 4 seconds and was on pace to run a 4:36 mile. Brandon was 11 seconds back. After two laps, halfway through the race sam had only slowed down a little bit. I was hammering away at the same pace I was on last friday when I beat sam by one second with a time of 5:13 but Sam was not coming back. With one lap left it was apparent some other-worldly forces were in the air as Sam was not dropping back at all. By the end of the race Brandon had forgotten what he was doing and was imagining himself back in his halloween shower with all the girls and crossed the finish line in 7:07. I came through in 5:15, two seconds slower than at friday's duel with sam. And speaking of Sam...well what did he do? Sam, in nothing but boxers in 44 degree weather with three freshly drunken beers and 6 inhaled cheese sticks in his stomach ran 19 seconds faster than on friday, faster than he'd ever run before, and crossed the line in 4:55. No rational logic can explain this. The man is superhuman. Asked at the finish line what the hell had just happened and how he'd done it, Sam looked around crazy-eyed and said, "it was the beer and cheese man."

coming soon on the monstroblog...the 2005 halloween costume contest.