My Life Part 1

It disappeared strangely, but I managed to get the puppy back online. My Life Part 1, session 2.

I came out of my mother's womb with a full head of hair and a tattoo of the Holy Virgin Mary on my back. The doctors said it 'twernt right for a babe to have a tattoo of the Holy Virgin Mary on it's back, and it should be removed. But my parents were poor and they could only afford one surgery; it was either the tattoo or a circumcision. I remember being in that doctors hands and thinking in my head, "You'd better not cut off my tattoo you sonofabitch." But being a baby I didn't have the words to get that idea out, and so I did the next best thing and began to cry.

At the age of 3 I began to read from the Encylopedia Britannica clearly and correctly, completely out of the blue. My first word was "Aa," which is a genus of orchid which grows in the Andes. Unfortunately I spoke with a rough Icelandic accent, which puzzled my parents because none of my neighbors, babysitters, or friends were of Icelandic origin. My invisible friend Ragnheidr stayed away after that...I supposed my parents quickly began to suspect his influence.

Around the time of my 8th birthday I climbed to the top of a large Oak tree in my front yard and quite clearly saw my closest neighbor, Mr. Goldstein, having a conversation with his Welsh Corgie who's name was Flamingo. I was surprised to see that Flamingo answered him in a baritone voice, a voice I had always attributed to Mr. Goldstein and never to Flamingo, who I saw only when he was being walked by Mr. Goldstein. As he went into and out of his house fetching food and toys for Flamingo, I soon realized that Mr. Goldstein was actually the puppet of his dog. The next time I saw them walking down the street I was playing with my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figure of Ace Duck. I stared at Flamingo and then started a rather engaging conversation with the animal about the artistic merits of the cartoon show in which my action figure character made only a brief guest appearance.

More to come...