The Beginning

The new school year is quickly approaching and many of the readers of this blog will be going back to school of some kind, whether it be Bible school or Dance Academy. We all know that amazing frist day of school feeling, don't we?
Wondering if you're going to like your teacher. Will you like your classmates? What if the kid that sits next to you smells? Or has dyptheria? (Most likely from travelling the Oregon Trail.) Is your Trapper Keeper with your Lisa Frank folders in it still cool? It has a cute pink panda. Who doesn't like cute pink pandas? Did you bring some stickers? Some cute unicorn stickers to stick on stuff and make them cute? What about those LA Gears with the flashing lights you bought? What if one of the lights goes out? What the fuck will you do then? Go to the bathroom and hang yourself, that's what you SHOULD do. We all know owning a pair of non-flashing LA Gears is social suicide, so you might as well commit REAL suicide so as not to condemn yourself to the fucking community service club for your entire life at school. Did you bring enough pens? Did you get cool pens? Did you get mechanical pencils? The cool rich kids have mechanical pencils. Even if you can't afford mechanical pencils buy spare mechnical pencil lead so when that cute cool girl leans over and says "Do you have any .5 lead?" You can say yes instead of shamefully shaking your head and wishing you were dead. Also you'd better get something cool to put in your locker. You'd better get a cool poster of Pamela Anderson. That Miss Piggie in the bikini poster you were gonna put up isn't going to get you any friends, just an ass-kicking. What about a cool backpack? Do you have a cool backpack? Do you have a cool Jansport backpack? You'd better. And you'd better write cool stuff on it with white-out like "Whatever!" and "Time Out!" otherwise nobody will be your friend. Maybe get a pin or patch. A cool patch that says "Korn" or "Dave Matthews Band" or better yet just "DMB." You'd better have some cool No Fear. If you don't have No Fear you'd better fear getting pummeled by the jocks. The jocks have no fear, that's why they wear the shirts. They like to jump motorcycles and skateboards with no fear, do you think they will have any fear of beating your face off?

I'm putting myself in time-out for rambling on about school. We're all going to college, not middle school, right? ...Right?