Sonsabitches

I'm the only one that has posted on the blog for weeks. I'm the only one that even bothers to think about what I'm going to post ahead of time instead of just taking diahhrea all over my keyboard and hoping somebody with a few minutes of free time likes the keyboard translation of loose stool. I thought up the blog, I design it, I maintain it, and I have to bust my ass posting shit on it, but everyone else likes to tack their name onto the project because it lets them take strippers home. Sometimes I will go out of my way to actually put thoughtful things up instead of just anecdotes about how I almost got run over by an old lady or how I think pretzels are more delicious when covered in nacho cheese. Sometimes I will actually delve into the ether of philosophy and try to bless the cavelike minds of my readership with a shining beacon of light, but all I get for this is people asking me why I'm not funnier. Excuse me, but a man can only talk about the merits of nacho cheese for so long. Unless you want me to start talking about how embarrassed I am that I am 22 and I still have skidmarks in my underwear I suggest you take what is served to you and move on before Nasty Nate decides he wants your fruit cup and corners you in the shower room.
My mind is like a fountain of knowledge. Unlike that 10,000 page book that Ayn Rand wrote The Fountainhead, which sucked, my mind is like a reverse black hole spewing all sorts of forgotten energies upon the universe just because I am a force of nature that gaps dimensions. So be respectful and if you don't read a post you like or they become infrequent don't go running off to some other blog like a dime whore who skips out of town when the sailors shove off. You know that you are getting quality material but sometimes I have to fashion ideas and jokes out of solid marble which takes a long time considering I don't have the necessary tools or technical expertise to work in that medium. I am a keyboardist, so if my mind gives me marble I have to make fucking due, and you aren't better than me, so you'd better do the same.

On that note, I think we are going to be putting up t-shirts soon. That is, if the three other members of this blog take time out of planning their mutiny and actually help me steer this ship away from the fucking rocks we are bearing down upon.