That's a cute baby penguin, but I'm still hungry.

I went and watched March of the Penguins the other night. I sat down and was fairly entertained by the exposition (for those of you that don't know big words, it essentially means the part meant to pump you up for watching the movie.) Then the movie started and the crowd began to laugh and laugh and cry and laugh at the antics of the penguins on screen. Morgan Freeman narrated the story and made it seem like an epic quest for survival. These penguins survive the harshest winters on earth. Then I had an epiphany halfway through the movie that I was WATCHING PENGUINS WALK AROUND. The filmmakers had managed to edit hours and hours of footage of penguins into a story that would not only keep people in their seats, but absolutely fucking captivate them. I referenced in my memory the several visits I have paid to the SeaWorld penguin exhibit over the years. To my recollection, not a soul would spend longer than ten minutes watching the penguins walk around and dive into the water in their little room. The penguins were boring as hell. They did'nt DO anything. Watching another creature live it's life is pretty damn unentertaining. Somehow, these genius film editors were able to create a film out of hours of footage of penguins roaming stupidly around the ice of Antarctica.

March of the Penguins is essentially the mutant child of reality television. It's the eyesore that everyone is refusing to recognize. The elephant in the corner. Filmmakers were able to take something completely uniteresting and with careful shot selection, editing, and a narrator, they could make a story out of it. Penguins hobbling around on the ice and puking up their food suddenly turned into "a story about love." The same is true for reality TV like The Real World. If you paid a visit to these people during the day and observed them, the thought would slowly creep into the back of your head that 1) they were boring and 2) you did not give a rat's ass what Chloe's relationship with her boyfriend was like. You would talk to Chloe and realize Chloe had an IQ of 61. Chloe, while fashionable and gorgeous, can not legally operate a power tool because she's a danger to herself and those around her. The Real World spends a week filming 8 boring-ass people and distills it into an hour of nail-biting reality television. Granted those 8 people are absolutely insane, but most people spend their days sleeping and eating, and crazy people are no exception.

Though I must say, given a choice, I would watch penguins over the dumbasses on The Real World any day of the week.