Recall that throughout most of human history, the majority of people never made it out of their 30s. There's a reason the aging process begins at 30: in the cave days, you were retiring to Florida by then.
So given that the environment which we evolved in - i.e., you're dead by 40 - it's understandable that female beauty would be assumed to vanish by that age. You don't need nice skin when it's just going to be devoured by a saber-toothed tiger any day now. That's why one must recognize the amazing possibilities of the modern age: the attractive, older, woman.
As far as I can tell, this trend is less than 50 years old. I mean, even in the paleo-modern age of the the late eighteenth century, Catherine the Great still had to jump a horse because no dude would step up after her 40th birthday. This phenomenon traces to a specific time, which I place in the 1950s. Why, you ask? Because it was in the 1950s that the guys who wrote The Graduate came of age, the first open cultural reference to the hot, older, woman.
So, 50+ years later, what's changed? Women have stayed hotter longer. Score one for civilization. The classic example is Sofia Loren, whom the average 20 year-old found bone-able well into her 70s. But I'm not interested in outliers, I'm interested in trends, and the trend is this: there are some hot 60+ females out there. What a wonderful world.
Alright, you want my picks. Fine, I'll play.
Because I'm a politics geek, I'm going to focus on some of the women that I spend a lot of time watching and reading about. Here are 3 examples, from each side of the aisle, because an attractive 60 year-old deserves better than a purely partisan admirer:
The Lefty: Elizabeth Warren, 60, Chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel
Elizabeth makes this list for two reasons. First, her background: she's from the heartland (daughter of poor Oklahoma farmers), she worked her way to the top, and she's scary smart; intelligence is sexy. Second, she looks seriously great for 60, I mean, she looks like she's in her 40s. She reminds me of some of those cute, nerdy, mid-length hair, usually-wearing-glasses girls from college. You know, the ones you passed in the library on your way to a Monstro party. And since those 18-22 year-old girls looked like they were in their 40s, she fits the fantasy perfectly. Anytime you have "60" and "fantasy" in your description, you make my list.
Oh, and in case you think I'm cherry picking photos since she normally wears glasses, she looks cute with them on too:
The Righty: Bay Buccanan, 60, Former U.S. Treasurer
Ok, admittedly, pickings were a little slimmer on the right. The Repubs tend to do better with the hot younger women, while the Dems age better and require fewer former cheerleaders, skewing the sample. But Bay's a hottie at 60. She's the brains behind everything I love about her brother Pat Buccanan with none of his trodlydite-like outdatedness; couple that with model hair, great form in a suit jacket, and sexy librarian glasses, and you make my list every time.
The Goes-Both-Ways: Arianna Huffington, 59, Founder of The Huffington Post
OK, I'm cheating just a tad here: Arianna's a couple months shy of 60. So what. It's not like this is gonna change in the next six months. Deal with it.
Arianna's "I'm a Republican when I'm marrying for money but then I'm a rabid liberal after the divorce alimony starts rolling in" indicisiveness may be annoying, but she's still damn hot. It's not just the "She's how old!?!" looks either: she exudes attainable sexiness. She's rich, powerful, looks incredible, and you just know that if you took her out for wine and dinner you'd have a sporting chance of going back to her place. And then there's that accent...
Comparison shot: this is how great Arianna looks for her age: look how BAD Bill Maher looks standing next to her. And he's 5 years younger.
Alright Monstro blog readers, I have a call to action for you. I know I'm missing some hot 60 year-olds out there (is Pam Anderson 60 yet?). The comments section is for listing my omissions.
Paper due in 13 hours and doing everything in my power to procrastinate,
GRat
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