Teeth Bombs

After I get done brushing my teeth I like to use my tongue to do a quick sweep of the perimeter to make sure I didn't miss anything really important on my first go through with the toothbrush. Tonight I was digging around in my molars when I found a little morsel the $85 piece-of-shit electric money-wasting tooth-vibrator happened to miss. I worked at it for a little bit and when I finally popped the little piece loose it fell into the back of my throat. Even though I ate a BBQ pork sandwich with sweet pickels for dinner, somehow I managed to get a small piece of habanero pepper flake stuck in between two of my teeth. It was like a decades-old land mine and I was the dumbass walking through a field in a sweaty tanktop with a metal detector looking for loose change. The back of my throat felt like I had just drank bleach. Maybe I'm just being dramatic, but it was still kind of unsettling.