phew. that was a close one.
Three things have caught my eye recently that are semi-worth telling other life forms about. This automatically excludes news about the growth slowly appearing under my left eye cuz no one likes a party pooper (cancer).
The first thing is that I got a letter from Whitman College today. Naturally, I figured it would be asking for money. This actually doesn't bother me at all as it has become totally normal for schools to ask alums for money and I had a great experience at Whitman and will happily give $25 dollars until I am a self made millionaire and demand that Whitman name a building after me where you have to be naked. The thing that really stuck in my craw was that this letter was from good old George Bridges (how much longer can this turd last?) stating a bunch of great things about Whitman. Instead of asking for the gift with the forms and instructions at the end, it simply said that in a few weeks I'd be getting a letter asking for a gift and to consider doing it. It was a letter to tell me I'd be getting a letter later. Now I'm all for freedom of speech, but I'm also for...I don't know, FUCKIN' TREES MAYBE and what a goddam waste, not to mention the postage that could have gone to put another fountain on campus to encourage drunk people not to go the way of Tycho Brahe (or his pet elk for that matter) but instead I get a letter announcing the future arrival of another letter. Jesus, this is not the fucking middle ages, I don't need a goddam messenger to come before the king and announce his impending arrival.
The second thing is this site which made me crack the fuck up. It's pretty much just old style greeting cards but the humor is so up the Judd Apatow/Garrett Stiles/Family Guy alley (yeah I went there) that it is so perfect. Anyways, they are funny and were passed on to me by Ashley Apel, so thank her if you laugh, kill her if you don't like it. I'm JUST THE FUCKING MESSENGER NAMED GEORGE BRIDGES. The king will be here later.
Lastly, Iranian Royal Douchebag Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spoke at Columbia University today and it was a royal mess front to back. First of all Columbia invited him probably to pat their ivy league ass on the back for being open to free speech. Bullshit, I see at best, limited reason why hatemongers and probable purveyors of violence should get free license to spout their venom. Then, as if to cater to viewpoints like mine, University President Lee Bollinger ripped him a new asshole, which must have been pretty fun, but weird in the context of them inviting him to speak, at least not really in the middle east tradition of hospitality to ones guests. Then Ahmadinejad went down a path I've been noticing lately from terrorists like Bin Laden and other US/capitalist enemies like Hugo Chavez bust out lately. They've gotten WAY smarter with their rhetoric and mix their reactionary hate/terror messages with legitimately good critiques of US culture and society. This scares me because at heart, most of these people are bad people who would hurt people like me and you just to make an ideological point, which I think is bullshit. The thing is they are starting to get as good as America at saying one thing while doing the other. When Ahmadinejad said they didn't want nukes, just peaceful energy I don't care if he means it or not. When you come out and say you want to wipe another sovereign country (Israel in this case) off the map explicitly, and deny the Holocaust, one of the major reasons for its existence, you should not possess nuclear capabilities. Anyways, Bin Laden's recent videos and this appearance made me realize that the anti-American PR is getting sharper, maybe they are hiring Karl Rove now that he is unemployed.
Good luck with your lives in this world of incredibly good Stride Gum.
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