Despite the use of the word "God" in the post title which is sure to unnerve a mostly secular, educated crowd, I don't think I'm going to say anything that is really that controversial, new, or even interesting. I'm currently watching an awesome mini-series on CNN called "God's Warriors" about religious intolerance, much like our much maligned required summer reading in 2002, "The Battle for God".
Many people, different kinds of people, believe in God, in some form of another. Much to the chagrin of a devout Rushdie-ist like Drew, I would count myself among them. I've actually been thinking a lot about my religion and my religious views since Drew and Gus commented to me on a beach near Hoi An, Vietnam that I wasn't "that Jewish". Presumably this comes from the fact that I don't wear a kippah on my head or go to synogauge once a week like church. Growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area really skewed my perception of the world, in a lot of ways actually, but religion specifically. I grew up thinking probably 30-50% of the world was jewish when in reality that number is less than one percent, most of my friends were jewish, many in my schools were and most of the people who made me laugh on TV or movies were Jewish, it makes sense. Coming to a school like Whitman, liberal and somewhat filled with jews, but in a conservative, rural, and more accurately religious part of the country was a really interesting experience for me. For the first time in my life I met people who had never met a real live Jew before, they didn't harbor hatred or anything close to that, just ignorance, meaning not knowing facts or information. It forced me to actually assume the role of representing my whole religion to people, for example, out of the 10 in the monstro, I was the only Jew, and I wasn't really that comfortable doing it all the time, like any good Jew I was more full of questions than answers about my faith and truly hadn't thought out why I did some of the religious things I did or how I felt about certain things. It really forced me to look within for answers and led to a lot of personal spiritual growth, and for that I will always be grateful.
I think what a lot of people don't understand is that for many "secular" Jews in America, the religion is more of a cultural entity than a "religion" as a typical christian would see it. You hang out with Jewish friends, eat Jewish food, follow Israel in the news with a mix of opinions, and occasionally go to temple and say prayers that you can read in Hebrew, the same language my ancestors spoke 2,000+ years ago, but don't really understand unless you dig deeper on your own. I, like most people of my upbringing, politically, economically, etc, never gave a whole lot of thought to whether I believed in God, if God existed, etc.
The more I get pressed on my views, politics, Israel, religion, the more I have to form opinions. I've always been torn about being raised Jewish and not having choice in the matter from my parents who could have laid out 10 different religions and let me choose. As I've gotten older I've sort of accepted the Judaism and enjoyed all the dimensions within it. I had the fortune to go to a Jewish summer camp for 7 summers and now to have worked there for 6 summers. The camp is set in a very picturesque setting so the outdoors shaped a great deal of my "religion" which is in quotes because an orthodox jew would not share them.
I fully admit I do not understand science as well as many of my friends but I am by no means totally ignorant. I understand (and believe in) evolution theories, love most things about physics and can tell you an above average amount about the ecology of birds. However, I cannot tell you why a sunset over a high alpine lake is pretty, or why a group of 20 people sitting around a campfire will stare totally transfixed into the leaping, playing flames. I can't describe why everyone gets happier around water or waterfalls or why people go to "retreats" for one reason or another in nature. I did realize that among the Hasidic jews (the weird ones with the black suits and hats and beards and ear locks) one of their most important teachers was deeply connected to nature and the wonder of it. I love learning scientifically about how the world was created, the big bang, the slow cooling, the shifting of continents and all that, but what I don't think can ever be explained to me is why it is all so moving and so beautiful. Another reason I think it's important for me to believe in a higher power is that I am at the shit end of the stick for having humility. As a white, American, well-off, male, being humble is not something that the world has shown me comes naturally. Realizing that there are things greater than yourself can shape your actions and behavior in a beneficial way I think. I don't think believing in God requires you to believe in an old bearded man or suddenly bitch out on living life because you think shit will be pre-destined, I think a less present God, one who rarely intervenes, but just exists to inspire and guide, not to rain down hell fire or judge or even help, is more in tune with how I feel.
I could explain much much more on the other aspects of being jewish that are interesting to me, the whole kabbalistic mystic side, the myriad of questions the belligerent old testament raises for me, the whole history of the jews, and so on and so forth but right now, I could say I am culturally Jewish by eating bagels and lox, loving Mel Brooks and Jerry Seinfeld and I am spiritually religious by the things in nature or the uncommon human interaction that go beyond explanation and simply take my breath away.
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