Cheers Batman!

In honor of Batman being voted the best superhero of all time, I've compiled a list of amazing things he's done:

1) Batman, without any meta-human abilities or powers, has kicked Superman's ass. By building a mechsuit and hardwiring himself into Gotham City's powergrid. Then he discharges the whole city into Superman's head!

2) Batman knew that one time when Robin II came back from the dead, it was actually Clayface impersonating him. He knew because Robin II never fought that way when he was alive!

3) Batman has got a gigantic penny in his Batcave. The penny is bigger than the door, yet somehow he got it in there!

4) Batman married Ra's al-Ghul's daughter just so he could work through Ra's to destroy a terrorist army in the middle east. And get hell of ass!

5) Batman has had his back broken, but put himself back together so he could stop Bane and Jean-Paul Valley (aka Azrael) who was rampaging through Gotham as a vigilante mechanized-Batman in his stead. That took some badass motivation!

Feel free to contribute any other amazing things Batman has done.

Hollywood's Next Anti-Piracy Crusade: Crappy Cell Phone Copies

This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

I love you,
Drew

The Golden Compass

Has anyone out there read The Golden Compass? This fantasy/science epic is being made into a film, and after reading all the rave Amazon.com reviews, I am somewhat intrigued. It sounds like this UK author was overlooked during the whole Harry Potter craze. He is being praised (and sometimes condemned) for the dark turns in his books, and how they are more suited for teens and adults rather than children. It sounds like everything I wanted Harry Potter to be. I'm gonna go read this.

Things I Hate: Facebook Apps

I think for the most part Facebook apps are pretty quirky little time-wasters that allow personalization and interaction that has the potential to turn Facebook into an even bigger time waster. Unfortunately, some people have gone absolutely nucking futs creating these apps, and something needs to be done. Somebody needs to publish an article about the lamest and most useless Facebook Apps. Who? Me? Okay, I'll do it.

Free Gifts
Give your friends the gift of...a cartoon picture. This is the type of thing I would expect out of Japanese schoolgirls, but for whatever reason some people lose it and can't refrain from gifting a cluster of grapes or a shoelace to everyone that they know. This is the interpretation of the phrase "it is the thought that counts" taken to the extreme by someone who lacks the ability to interpret English phrases. As far as I know, "it is the thought that counts" only applies if you actually give someone shit. I have never heard anyone say "I was going to get you a real skateboard, but instead here is a picture of a skateboard. It is the thought that counts." Delete the gifts application. It should be dead.

Pirates vs. Ninjas
The whole pirate vs. ninja thing that was started by Real Ultimate Power at least half a decade ago has been sapped of its humor and turned into a nerdy game of grab-ass by some illustration student who has an obsession with manga. The first app of this kind (as far as I know) was Zombies and is somewhat bearable because of the lack of manga, and at least it was an original concept. Plus if you want to get historical, pirates and ninjas were both pretty weak. Now if you wanted to start a Mongols vs. Romans, I would freakin' join.

Sex and the City Quotes
Umm...what the shit? I hope our culture is crushed under the churning wheels of time if for no other reason than I will be saved the embarrassment of having my civilization tied in any way to this goddamn show.

Fortune Cookie
There is a subtle darkness to the Fortune Cookie app. that I only recently became aware of. The cookie lists your fortune, for you, the user who puts it on your profile. It's not giving a fortune to someone who reads it. So basically this app. is for people who constantly check their own profile. Which, as far as I know, doesn't update unless you update it yourself so...what the hell are you looking at? Do you think that some magic internet gnomes are going to edit your Music interests and all of a sudden you'll realize how much you like George Michael? I guess Facebook kinda promotes that type of self-aware persona monitoring, but still, it's troublesome to have it thrown in my face by that goddamn Fortune Cookie.


PS -- I love George Michael.

BTW, WTF?

Who in the crap voted for Superman? I included Superman out of more irony than Jesus or Teen Wolf.

Green Your Tailgating

Football Season Is at Hand: Green Your Tailgating (TreeHugger)

TreeHugger.com has published a well intentioned article on how to make your college football tailgates as green as possible. While the concept is badass, they missed some pretty important points that the local Boise crew will NOT be missing when BSU plays Weber State in the season opener.

First and foremost, we won't be driving to the game, we'll be biking. We'll also be towing a baby cart full of beer and hopefully a grill. The TreeHugger.com article suggests veggie brats, which is just re-goddamn-diculous, but if you run a website by that name I guess you have to be all or nothing. Secondly, and most importantly, we will be supporting a team that uses turf and not natural grass. Grass takes up a shitload of water and is costly to maintain. Boise State is famous for their blue turf...but nobody really bothers to stop and think how green it is. Super pun of the day! High five for me.

hmmm....Burning Man

So in a few hours I'm going to Burning Man, a festival/gathering/I don't really know how to describe it thing in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada where it appears not a lot goes down except for one week a year when 40,000 or so people gather on "the playa" to participate in self-expression, self-reliance and "art"

To be quite honest, I'm terrified. I think it's more likely for me to die at this event than over the course of my travels through Southeast Asia and Israel this past year. 40,000 naked, drugged out people creating what temporarily becomes Nevada's 4th largest city sounds awesome because I'll feel right at home, but then I realized that for me, feeling at home, or rather, feeling safe, means usually surrounding myself with people that are NOTHING like me, for the sake of safety and sanity. Anyways, I still think it will be a really interesting event just in the social experiment nature of it. You are expected to be totally self-reliant, you have to bring shelter, food, water for the whole week, nothing but ice and coffee is sold at the event and you are not supposed to bring money as it is a not a monetary-based economy, but rather a gift-based one, where you bring things to "gift"(I'm realizing I use quotes a lot, probably too much, in this case it is to imply that the word gift is not usually a verb, so I gottzta make it all special-like) to other people and in return you assume things will be gifted to you. Since I am well steeped in the heart of darkness I assume that no one will give me shit especially because I currently haven't shaved in close to 6 weeks and look like the kind of person you try to kick off your lawn when you realize they aren't just there to back their invisible car up and turn around. On the other hand, this might make me incredibly successful at acquiring things. Nonetheless, despite the Joseph Conrad tugging at me, Neil Young also plays a part and so I will hedge my bets by also partaking in the heart of gold approach and bringing random gifts, cuz nothing says fuck me in 123 degree heat like a free tube of chapstick from me, to you.

I go in with no expectations which is probably good but I was doing some pre-event reading in order to brush up on anything I needed to know and I came across this really interesting blog post about the event. Reading it, it struck me that like most cultural phenomena, hippie-dom, woodstock, beat generation, web 2.0, that by the time I've heard of anything it is no longer cool, hip, or in its pure, original unadulterated form. This guy talks to people that feel burning man, supposedly the epitome of non-consumer lifestyles was becoming just that, a corporate event...blah blah blah, I just think it'll be interesting to see what it feels like and talk to first timers and old timers. On a related note, my 91 year old grandma told me she was at the first burning man, like 20 years ago, which is hilarious.

Alright, I'll report back about the event when I return, maybe share some pictures, maybe show the 3 readers of Monstro blog what a totally liquidated brain is capable of and if you have skimmed this whole post and yearn for something better, by all means if you do one thing, watch this.

God Bless America.

These Speakers Go to 11

It has been a long-running joke ever since This is Spinal Tap became a staple of every college DVD collection that a speaker going to 11 is the epitome of audio prowess. Logitech has apparently released a set of speakers, the Z-5500s (big number, big sound!), that actually go to 11.

When I clicked on the article I was greeted by a sleek silver interface that would normally have driven my tech-geek mind crazy, but I have been utterly evangelized in the audio realm. Anything with silver knobs and plastic housings makes me reel in terror. I'm sure if you're used to desktop speakers the size of a deck of cards the Z-5500s do produce a "deep, rich and detailed sound." If you've ever heard a set of Blumenstein Ultra-Fi speakers then one look at the Z-5500s will induce you to utter that sound you make when you see a baby duck or a small child topple over and fall in the grass. Awwwww, that's cute. If that small child grew up to be a 6'6" Muay Thai kickboxer and started to beat you within an inch of your life, then you would have Blumenstein Ultra Fi. Check him out.

Damn it!

An article about the apparent cause of the Minneapolis bridge collapse. This is really troubling.

News Bitz! Bitz o' news? bit my lip, waaah

Serena Williams Smackdown!

When asked by reporters about her fitness, or lack thereof, before the upcoming U.S. Open tennis tournament, Serena Williams went off!

"I'm definitely in better shape than I get credit for," she says. "It's just because I have large bosoms and a big ass. I think if I were to not eat for two years, I still wouldn't be a size two, because I'm all woman, baby. I have hips, curves, butt and boobs, and that's just the way I'm built. I'm bootylicious."


"Hitting the Century"

this dude is a man on a mission, maybe fueled by his lack of one functioning limb, that is a motivator, people, he's got nothing to lose!


Bill Murray rolling harder than ever!

By the end of the year Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan all will have served less than a cumulative week in jail for various drug and dui offenses that would put normal people away for much longer.

check out the sub-head about halfway down in this bad boy of an article that legitimates nihilism and depression on a grand scale.

and finally, big ups to the apes featured here for behaving in a way that has lent itself to creating an article that at many points along the way, I had to remind myself that well-respected journalists researched and wrote this.

and there it is.

Asthma Chic: Silver Inhaler Case Makes Asthma Stylish - Gizmodo

Asthma Chic

This proves that being a geek is increasingly mainstream. Next stop? Star Wars boxing gloves.

Yoda is not a Superhero

Yoda is a fucking puppet

Temporary New Look

Blogger just updated how it manages templates for blogs. This basically means that I have to learn a whole new system for using it in order get a custom look. Bear with the blue on blue on blue for a while. It might take a week or so, but eventually I'll have customized this to look more like "us."

For now, delve into the blue.

Save Face on Facebook

Save Face on Facebook: Facebook Etiquette

Some of you out there could really, really, really use this Wired article.

Gotta love the military

Jon Stewart, host of the ridiculously good "The Daily Show" had a guest on the other night, Lt. Colonel John Nagl, who among other military endeavors wrote a book called the "counterinsurgency field manual" and he was summing up to Stewart the gist of the strategy and he literally said, "be polite, be professional, be prepared to kill."

That's like peace corps plus!

Extinction is profoundly depressing

It's like death (usually the most profound of depressing things) but even worse.

RIP fair dolphin

I just hope it doesn't happen to the Irrawady Dolphin, I didn't get a chance to see these endangered water beasts while in SE Asia. To see one became sort of a side quest that never got fulfilled.

Shit, I don't know where I'm going with this, extinction is some fucked up shit, but are the Condor's really meant to still be here? Am I? My family are neanderthals, crazy world.

Where Science Ends, God begins

Despite the use of the word "God" in the post title which is sure to unnerve a mostly secular, educated crowd, I don't think I'm going to say anything that is really that controversial, new, or even interesting. I'm currently watching an awesome mini-series on CNN called "God's Warriors" about religious intolerance, much like our much maligned required summer reading in 2002, "The Battle for God".

Many people, different kinds of people, believe in God, in some form of another. Much to the chagrin of a devout Rushdie-ist like Drew, I would count myself among them. I've actually been thinking a lot about my religion and my religious views since Drew and Gus commented to me on a beach near Hoi An, Vietnam that I wasn't "that Jewish". Presumably this comes from the fact that I don't wear a kippah on my head or go to synogauge once a week like church. Growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area really skewed my perception of the world, in a lot of ways actually, but religion specifically. I grew up thinking probably 30-50% of the world was jewish when in reality that number is less than one percent, most of my friends were jewish, many in my schools were and most of the people who made me laugh on TV or movies were Jewish, it makes sense. Coming to a school like Whitman, liberal and somewhat filled with jews, but in a conservative, rural, and more accurately religious part of the country was a really interesting experience for me. For the first time in my life I met people who had never met a real live Jew before, they didn't harbor hatred or anything close to that, just ignorance, meaning not knowing facts or information. It forced me to actually assume the role of representing my whole religion to people, for example, out of the 10 in the monstro, I was the only Jew, and I wasn't really that comfortable doing it all the time, like any good Jew I was more full of questions than answers about my faith and truly hadn't thought out why I did some of the religious things I did or how I felt about certain things. It really forced me to look within for answers and led to a lot of personal spiritual growth, and for that I will always be grateful.

I think what a lot of people don't understand is that for many "secular" Jews in America, the religion is more of a cultural entity than a "religion" as a typical christian would see it. You hang out with Jewish friends, eat Jewish food, follow Israel in the news with a mix of opinions, and occasionally go to temple and say prayers that you can read in Hebrew, the same language my ancestors spoke 2,000+ years ago, but don't really understand unless you dig deeper on your own. I, like most people of my upbringing, politically, economically, etc, never gave a whole lot of thought to whether I believed in God, if God existed, etc.

The more I get pressed on my views, politics, Israel, religion, the more I have to form opinions. I've always been torn about being raised Jewish and not having choice in the matter from my parents who could have laid out 10 different religions and let me choose. As I've gotten older I've sort of accepted the Judaism and enjoyed all the dimensions within it. I had the fortune to go to a Jewish summer camp for 7 summers and now to have worked there for 6 summers. The camp is set in a very picturesque setting so the outdoors shaped a great deal of my "religion" which is in quotes because an orthodox jew would not share them.

I fully admit I do not understand science as well as many of my friends but I am by no means totally ignorant. I understand (and believe in) evolution theories, love most things about physics and can tell you an above average amount about the ecology of birds. However, I cannot tell you why a sunset over a high alpine lake is pretty, or why a group of 20 people sitting around a campfire will stare totally transfixed into the leaping, playing flames. I can't describe why everyone gets happier around water or waterfalls or why people go to "retreats" for one reason or another in nature. I did realize that among the Hasidic jews (the weird ones with the black suits and hats and beards and ear locks) one of their most important teachers was deeply connected to nature and the wonder of it. I love learning scientifically about how the world was created, the big bang, the slow cooling, the shifting of continents and all that, but what I don't think can ever be explained to me is why it is all so moving and so beautiful. Another reason I think it's important for me to believe in a higher power is that I am at the shit end of the stick for having humility. As a white, American, well-off, male, being humble is not something that the world has shown me comes naturally. Realizing that there are things greater than yourself can shape your actions and behavior in a beneficial way I think. I don't think believing in God requires you to believe in an old bearded man or suddenly bitch out on living life because you think shit will be pre-destined, I think a less present God, one who rarely intervenes, but just exists to inspire and guide, not to rain down hell fire or judge or even help, is more in tune with how I feel.

I could explain much much more on the other aspects of being jewish that are interesting to me, the whole kabbalistic mystic side, the myriad of questions the belligerent old testament raises for me, the whole history of the jews, and so on and so forth but right now, I could say I am culturally Jewish by eating bagels and lox, loving Mel Brooks and Jerry Seinfeld and I am spiritually religious by the things in nature or the uncommon human interaction that go beyond explanation and simply take my breath away.

I'm back and I'll kill you.

I have decided that I like blogging, so I am back. Dive in.

The other night I had what many would call a metaphysical crisis. I was laying in bed listening to music on my iPod when I was faced with the sudden brutal realization that the infinite nature of the universe requires so much energy (or mass, thanks Einstein) in order to influence change that no matter what I do with my life it pretty much doesn't mean shit. Some lump of Silicon floating around in the Buttcrack Nebula can crash into some other interstellar mass and create more of a universal change than me burning every book on the planet. This was troubling, and I started to chew on my pillow.
Then the romantic inside me that I try so desperately to murder by reading my fill of Franz Kafka and Cormac McCarthy chimed in his two cents. I started to think that maybe I didn't need to move planets, but that I could find monumental meaning in the little things, like kissing and petting cats. As if the universe itself was striking down my feeble human emotion, my cat started to go apeshit crazy in the hallway, jumping into the walls and tearing at the carpet. In terror I climbed from my bed and downed nearly an entire bottle of water. Or what I thought was water.

Don't pee in a Gatorade bottle near your bed, no matter how badly you want to go back to sleep.

Not being a pussy- darkness division

from Reuters news service posted on cnn.com:

Bears eat man at beer festival

BELGRADE, Serbia (Reuters) -- A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.

The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.

"There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage," zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters.

Local media reported that police found several mobile phones inside the cage, as well as bricks, stones and beer cans.

Cormac Comic

This is a comic from the Village Voice about Cormac McCarthy sort of.

http://www.villagevoice.com/news/0730,idea,77350,9.html

It is not especially funny, however there is a golden line of dialogue in it. Buzz says it. You'll know it. Also, I think Buzz sodomizes the penguin.

Chris Tucker

I think Chris Tucker is one of the more unique actors in film. By the time he made the second "Rush Hour" movie he joined the elite $20 million club of actors that command that much per film. The odd thing is that he has only starred in 8 films of any significance in his life and his last three appearances have come over the course of 9 years and have all been the "Rush Hour" films, yet he is a fairly well known actor and no doubt very rich. I think Chris Tucker is a brilliant business operator if he doesn't really like acting that much, because he is set for life financially and hasn't had to do shit. Props to you Chris Tucker!

Favorites by Type

Favorite Gangster Rapper: Ghostface Killah

Favorite Pizza: Black Olives and Mushrooms

Favorite Movie without any Dialogue: Koyaanisqatsi

Favorite Children's Book: Anamalia

Favorite Superhero without any Superpowers: Batman

Favorite Theme Song: Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Favorite old school Disney cartoon: Goofy in... No Smoking

Now what are your favorites by type?

Thailand Gets Tough on Police Corruption

I'd like to thank CNN for this remarkable piece of news. It fills me with hope when governments overrun by corruption and abuses of power recognize their own faults and take steps against them. Programs such as this should be studied by the United States in hopes of bettering ourselves.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/08/06/thai.hello.kitty.ap/index.html

I'm thinking perhaps Rainbow Brite tricorne hats...