I want some freakin' SOUP, bitch!

I've been noticing a negative trend in the soup-making industry lately. If you can even call these new concoctions "soup" at all. I go to restaurants now and the "soup" of the day is Savory Steak n' Potato. Let's follow the logic process behind ordering a bowl of Savory Steak n' Potato soup for the average American:

"I am hungry, and I feel like having steak and potatoes for dinner. I will order that."
"What? I get a soup with my meal? What kind of soups do you have?"
"Savory Steak n' Potato? Well, for one thing I assosciate with the "n'" in the title because I'm a homegrown American and anunciation is for homosexuals and foreigners." "I wonder what kind of soup Dale Earnhardt would get? I bet Dale Earnhardt only eats steak and potatoes for every meal. I think I will get the Savory Steak n' Potato soup."
"Where's my three ugly kids and their substantially uglier mother?"

If you don't believe me that this is the logic line of the average American, come over to my house and I will plug you into my mind-reading device and I will fry your brains until you're watching reruns of Reading Rainbow all day and the biggest decision you have to make is whether or not you want to eat pudding or jello for snack.
For some reason the geniuses in charge of fine brewpubs and feed-houses nationwide have decided that what American wants in a soup is exactly what America wants in everything else: meat, cheese, potatoes, cheese, and maybe throw in a fucking gold coin for good luck. It is only a matter of time before you see "Bowl of Gravy" on a menu at some chicken shack. I don't think I've seen a soup lately that doesn't adhere to the sides of the bowl like freakin' clay. All I want is some quality french onion or tomato basil soup. I don't want to have to choose between Lard n' Baconfat and Sausage n' othern' Good Stuff soup. I will tell you now, my choice will be to burn the restaurant to the ground and build a trendy, overpriced Soupperrie on top of it.