New Housemates

Our landlord in his infinite fairness and wisdom has decided to let his two sisters move into the Monstrosity for the summer. We cleaned out Lane's room, which may be more accurately described as a cave since we had to sift through trash and clothes while dodging bats and stalagmites in order to clean it up a little bit. We finally got everything moved out nice and orderly, and with any luck before Lane returns we'll be able to dump the bags of clothes and other shit back onto the floor and he'll feel right at home again.
The girls are moving in later today, and the remaining guys in the Monstrosity are still baffled that they want to move in with us. One look around the house would make most housepets cower in fear and jump out the nearest window. Yes, our house would make a common house cat commit suicide. Not only is the phyiscal condition awful, but our main hobbies on a whole are eating pizza and building towers with the boxes and drinking booze. Yesterday Gus brought home milk jugs full of wine from his job at a winery. We're literally drowning in our own filth AND in high-quality Walla Walla wine. Quite the dichotomy I must say.
We've decided, completely without insigation, that we will make these girls as unwelcome as possible. This is strange because we lived with girls in the fall of last year, and it was awesome. But something about these new girls rubs us the wrong way. We're already planning naked swordfights and farting contests to try and make them, much like our recently suicidal cat Mr. Mestophaleze, jump out the window to their death.
Visit the blog regularly, because at the end of each post I will be including a new tally: The number of days the girls have survived our unique lifestyle, tentatively called the NODGHSUL quotient(pronounce: nod-ga-sool).

NODGHSUL quotient:
0 days