Oscar rant (and one really good moment)

There was a time when this blog was all about movie snobbery, 'twas a simpler time, and now it's time for a stroll down that road again.

The Oscars fucking sucked.

It's possible because I was massively crashing from drinking for the 6 hours preceding the telecast that I was lacking certain brain chemicals needed to have any kind of joy or fun at that moment, but I seriously doubt that was it, they just fucking sucked.

Let's start with the hosts, James Franco would be fun to smoke like 12 joints with, but watching him host was pretty brutal and awkward. Anne Hatheway successfully represented everything annoying about women, being so excited and energetic about everything, no matter what. Maybe next time she shouldn't do all those 5 Hour Energy shots. Together they were the worst possible mix of trying too hard and not at all.

I hate the music pieces, they are dumb, I hate the cheesy jokes they force the presenters to say, I freaked out when Bob Hope returned back to life.

There were some good moments though, I'm not 100% hating.

1. Kirk Douglas did as only a 94 year-old could and came across as awesome for not shitting himself onstage. He does have pretty big balls though to get out at his age and after a stroke, he still had great comedic timing too.

2. Colin Firth, no nonsense and funny.

And BEST OF ALL was Luke Matheny, winner for best live action short film. He wins for a couple of reasons.

- Acknowledging his hair with his opening remark.
- Thanking his mom, who did craft services (i.e. the food) on the set.
- Promising to thank everyone else on a "thank you cam" that may or may not actually exist.
- Calling out an entire state, and that state being fucking DELAWARE! I don't even think Delaware exists!

Don't believe me? watch him here.

So that's that, I wasn't blown away by any movie this year (still need to see Winter's Bone, The Fighter and The Kids Are Alright) so hopefully next year's movies and show will be better.