As I've proved before I'm far too petty and competitive to let people try to punk me online.
Now I return from leading some alternative spring breaks in Guatemala prepared to write about how I'm so different, and like, totally changed man, and like, none of you, get it, you just don't,
but then I see Garrett putting slanderous filth like this online and gloating about my disappearance so I will straight revert to a caged lunatic.
If you think I look like a slightly more attractive college dude then I think you look like a certain Canadian comedian who might have had some problems with meat, whiskey and other vices telling him why they were better (than vegetables).
Really, it's uncanny. Motherfucker.
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