Sorry I've been so long departed my beloved blog, but I was working my butt off in preparation for a much-needed vacation to New York City. I just arrived home from the Big Apple, and I'll get back into the groove of things by sharing some funny observations in the form of brief and cleverly titled short essays.
The Mystery Spots
While strolling through the crowded and wet streets of a foggy New York, I noticed more and more often some anomalous spots of "stuff" splattered onto walls in the subways, on the streets, and even in bathrooms. I say "stuff" because no material I have come into contact with in my 25 years of existence has possessed the properties of these mystery spots. One spot hung in defiance of gravity from a wall in Brooklyn, resembling a hardened pile of brown Jello pudding. Another spot was across the subway tracks, and looked like a troll with a cold sneezed out the entire contents of its lungs. Another spot posessed some geometric properties, yet had the distinct appearance that it was melting, kind of like that stuff you make in elementary school out corn starch and water that is both a solid and a liquid. Needless to say I immediately contemplated all the unseen mystery spots that existed around the city, and stopped using the handrails and started flushing urinals with my shoe.
I think it's vomit.
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