Drew and I were talking recently on the medium of the internet, just kinda riffin' it up about current events, when our brain matter slowly started to heat and ideas went from fetal, to bigger fetal, if you are a huge dork or severely on either of our nuts give this a read.
Drew: I'm so sick of the Democratic race
so sick of it.
me: hahah, yeah electoral fatigue is setting in
Drew: nobody cares anymore. all the positive energy there was in the beginning has turned to bitterness
Clinton is a fucking viper now
win on your own merits, not on tearing down the other candidate.
me: yeah
i mean they are both pretty incredible candidates
i like obama more
obviously but it's too bad they are running in the same cycel
Drew: politics is for the birds
nevermind
politicians are for the birds.
me: ahaha
you are capable of wild swings
Drew: i saw a great comic in the independent newspaper here
it was of a totally destroyed convertible
and it had tattered american flags hanging from it
and the caption said "only the Democrats could screw up a one car parade"
me: so true
Drew: ah what are we to do
except organize and overthrow?
double O
me: orgasm
Drew: dude have you seen the previews for the new HBO series
John Adams
with Paul Giamatti
me: yea
Drew: I want to edit the trailer
and when it says "John Adams" at the end replace it with "Who the fuck was John Adams?!"
me: dude
that looks ridiculous
those really old historical biopics
are ridiculous
Drew: the dude who plays Ben Franklin looks good
me: ahaha, I mean I know WHO he was, but not that much about him, apparently he was really interesting though
really aristocratic to Jefferson's more down to earth
they sparred their whole lives, and died the same day, July 4
pretty legendary
Drew: or have it say "John Adams" "...wait, was he that guy that lost to Ali in the Congo?"
me: ahahaaaa
Drew: just do a whole series
ha ha
me: that's funny
Drew: ..."didn't he write that song from the Robin Hood movie?"
me: legit funny
"john adams....guy makes damn good peanut butter"
Drew: "...his Uncle Fester was fuckin weird as hell though."
me: john adams...cooks a mean STD"
me: john adams...deodorant for the 18th century.Drew: john adams...posthumously supports Barack Obama.
me: ahaha
obama should do that
just some hella funny ads
stop all this serious shit
Drew: that would be great dude!
isn't obama doing some grassroots video thing?
that's what we'll do, Gus and I me: ahaha
get tons of dead peple to endorese him
Drew: we'll have Sam costume up as all these historical figures in a really silly way, and have them all be posthumous support ads
me: ahahhaa
brilliant!
Drew: i'm Ben Franklin. I'm pretty sure I invented beer and lightning. That pretty much makes me a viking.
"Ben Franklin and Vikings support Barack Obama"
me: i mean these are gold
Drew: just keep a log of any ideas you have
me: i'm jefferson davis, the only president of the confederacy ever, therefore by endorsiing Barack Obama, the entire confederacy endorses him
I'm Martin Van Buren, Franklin Pierce, John Tyler, and James Buchanan, together we were about as effective and well known as one minor president, we endorse Barack Obama, giving him the presidential seal of approval
Drew: I'm Dwight Eisenhower. When I was elected, a lot of people confused me with George Patton. That's probably why I won. You've got it easy. Barack Obama looks nothing like a woman. Unless you put a wig on him. Then I bet he'd look real pretty. I'm Dwight Eisenhower and I endorse Barack Obama.
me: I'm Eli Whitney, inventor of the cotton gin, I know something about progress, and cotton, therefore I endorse wearing comfortable clothes and Barack Obama
Drew: I also endorse Under Armour. It's not cotton, but it has made tights cool again, which is OK in my book.
me: ahah I'm King Charlemagne and I know a little something about what it's like to rule the masses with a funny name. Any guy who can do it without guillotines and intimidation gets my support. Vote Barack Husesein Obama
Drew: I'm Stephen Hawking. I'm the smartest human being on the planet. Possibly the smartest human being ever in existence. One time, Barack Obama beat me at Scrabble with the word "huckleberry." Vote Barack Obama, or else I will trigger my Black Hole Machine.
me: I'm Gusen McFedries, I'm the drunk son of a bitch who touches your daughters in my trailer park dreams. One day I had a vision of purity and the next day I woke up passed out on a Time Magazine with Obama on it and instead of puking on his newspring face I just started crying and kissing him. Vote Obama. Save my soul, and your daughters ass.
newsprint Drew: I'm Julius Caesar. I was brutally murdered in the Senate chamber of ancient Rome because some said I was a tyrant. Let's try to avoid that debate altogether by electing Barack Obama as president.
I have saved this conversation. I am off to lunch with mom, but keep those wheels turning.
later
me: I'm Ron Jeremy and you might be thinking 'but he's not dead' however my penis has been my life blood and now I can't see it over my gut and it is bored with getting up for work every morning. Barack Obama is not any of these things. Lean, fit, energetic, and not a porn star, washed up or otherwise. Vote for him and then go fuck yourself, or someone else, anyone but me.
now Obama has got it locked up...thank god.
now Obama has got it locked up...thank god.
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