3/14/08

I Will Be Fighting Them In A War.

So the call girl of ex-governor of New York Eliot Spitzer has gotten her MySpace profile page back. According to Wired.com it had been accidentally deleted for a few days by the MySpace gang because of the unusually high amount of traffic that wanted to hear what shitty hip-hop sounded like when performed by one of the most expensive whores money can buy.

After I visited the site I noticed a few things. First I noticed how ironic it was that this girl was getting paid thousands of dollars per night but she has a MySpace profile picture that was edited with MS fucking Paint. I'm surprised the little sun behind her head doesn't have a poorly scrawled smiley face on it. Then I thought that Eliot Spitzer must be a huge X-Men fan, because his whore looks a lot like Famke Janssen who plays Jean Grey in the X-Men movies:

The only difference is that Jean Grey has awesome telepathic and telekinetic powers, and Ashley Alexandra Dupre' has poorly produced hip-hop and a future bleaker than Monica Lewinsky's.

Finally I noticed all the comments on her profile. All hugely supportive and provided almost exclusively by the subject matter of one of the greatest websites on the internet, Hot Chicks With Douce Bags. If you visit her site you will notice what I am talking about. Mainly that all the positive comments are from silicone-injected fat-lipped Dolly Parton scarecrows or jersey-wearing fake-baked Christian Dior-shaded scrote clowns.

Obviously any negative comments would be quickly removed...but one has to assume that the douche bags' comments on this girl's profile must be sincere, or at least driven by some misguided hope they hold in their tiny brains that maybe a supportive comment on the profile will mean they get a "One Free Screw" coupon in the mail courtesy of Ms. Dupre' for their "kind words."

Then I thought darker thoughts. These men, these "others," so alien from my mentality and temperament, will not simply differ in political views and goals, but they will likely be aggressively opposed to my beliefs. If it came down to it, I will be fighting them in a fucking war.

Well, let's resurrect Abe Lincoln and start fighting the great MySpace war of 2008. It's about friggin' time.
Rambling incoherently, at

1 comment:

  1. pdxwlf3/18/2008 11:58 AM

    a) The Emperor's Club, like every escort service, takes a huge cut (60%/more) out of any money that ultimately she receives. So she's not, in reality, a truly expensive whore.
    b) It is likely that her account is set up so that only her pre-approved social links can make comments.
    c) Leave these myspace constructs out of it and focus on fighting racist dwarves. That's where the real trouble is.

    Michelle

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