The Shit List of 2006

The new year is quickly approaching, or so says Nostradamus, so I thought I would post my yearly shit list (this will be the first year) of all things that I disapprove of, however irrational my reasons. This is my blog, and I will do with it as I please. People, bodies of water, ideologies, nothing is safe from the shit list. Here it is, the official Shit List of 2006.

1) Dumb hippies. Not all hippies in general, just unintelligent ones. Ones who parrot things their intelligent hippie friends make up but don't understand the conceptual or academic background behind what they are saying. A good example of a dumb hippie is someone who says the movie The Beach is "propaganda" but upon further inquiry you begin to suspect a recent lobotomy.

2) Major League Baseball. Come on, clean up your act. People love playing baseball, make us love to watch baseball. If nothing else, at least lower the beer prices in the stadium. I shouldn't feel like I am paying a speeding ticket every time I want to drink a cold beer out of an assault-proof plastic bottle.

3) People from Finland. Despite the testimony of one young Finn, I highly doubt that all Swedes are "fags." I also do not know how to give a reasonable answer when this same Finn asks why I don't have a Southern (or in his words, American) accent...wait, I know. I DIDN'T GROW UP IN THE FUCKING SOUTH.

4) Fashion shows. Nothing will hasten the coming of the Antichrist quicker than fashion shows in Milan. I don't give a shit how cool you think you are, covering a model with a bunch of sequins and torn up bedsheets doesn't mean you have good style, it means you know how to recycle.

5) Airport security. I keep from blowing my brains out every time I have to fly by telling myself over and over that the TSA is playing one long, intricate practical joke on the travellers of America.

6) Marilyn Manson. He doesn't even deserve having his name printed on this blog, but I like to remind people how insignificant this Jack Skellington wannabe truly is.

7) Time travel. Invent it already or stop talking about it. Every year some scientist writes a long paper or magazine article about how "technically" probable it is, but then there is shit for progress except next year's article saying "steps have been made in the right direction." 2007 better be the year time travel is invented, or else.


I encourage the other bloggers to add to the shit list. If somebody pisses me off later this afternoon, they will likely be added shortly thereafter.