A man and his beer.

Today while standing in a convenience store waiting to pay for my horchata smoothie I saw a sharp-looking young fellow purchasing a bottle of wine (remember, convenience store) and a twelve-pack of Corona Light. This initially surprised me because the chap seemed more like a 30-pack of Bud Light and pass out type of guy. He had a fine golden bracelet and a fine golden necklace, with fine boots and a fine pair of jeans and a fine spiked haircut with a fine Abercrombie and Fitch shirt on. I am sure he had a fine raised Jeep with fine floodlights in the parking lot. At this point I realized that you can accurately predict what a person is up to based on the type of alcohol they are purchasing. I needed to know nothing more about what this man was doing this evening or who he was doing it with. The answers came through his choice of alcohol.
Let me say again that he was buying cheap wine and Corona Light. The wine suggests that he is attempting to impress someone of the female persuasion. He is making a rudimentary attempt at class by bringing along a bottle of wine. The wine suggests dinner, and the beer suggests that they will be spending the evening in somewhere. He wouldn't need a lot of beer if they were headed to a bar. He chose a bottle of white wine, which combined with the Corona Light tells me many things. First, because white wine is sweet, it is harder to drink it in quantity. However, he was tailing it up with 12 beers. This says that while he is trying to impress his date with the wine, he knows that she is an experienced drinker and therefore must also bring beer in order to get her to a satisfactory point of inebriation in order to accomplish the goal of this date, which seems to be sex considering the amount of booze he was buying. This girl, she is obviously someone worth of impressing with the wine, or we would not see it. She is also a party girl, or he would not need the beer. She is also not willing to have sex with this man without the use of alcohol, or he wouldn't not be in the convenience store spending $30.
All the "clues in the booze," as I like to say, do not bring about the "sauciest" conclusion of whether or not this man accomplished his goal. If the girl is truly classy and is just giving the guy a shot, he will undoubtedly crash and burn. If she couldn't tell a wine bottle from a jug of laundry detergent, then his trip to the QuikTrip will have been a success.
Try this little game the next time you see someone purchasing alcohol in public. It is a fun way to pass the time while the person in front of you fishes around in their urine-soaked blue jeans for that last nickel to pay for the 40oz.-er.