Third alien themed post in a week: update- not an alien

I have posted two different alien-themed things in the last week. I don't know what's gotten into me besides those pesky interstellar microbes. I swear, I'm not even into sci-fi, like, at all. I would like to update this post and say that while I'm not an alien I may get to be in a medical journal since I was just found to have some rare parasite called Strongoloides (!!!). I have had this since at least last September and potentially as far back as our Monstro orgy in Asia in 06-07. Good times! Now I'm going to live blog a donut shop.

Alien info

About a year ago I posted about Stephen Hawking. I was talking about how he might be considered even more impressive because of the physical state that he's in. I also think he might be a lot closer to an alien than the rest of us. NOW THIS COMES OUT. This is not funny, this is terrifying, the dude has insider info, it is so fucking obvious, if there is any (former) human on the planet who has been taken over by aliens it is this guy! We need to heed his call and stay the fuck away from aliens.

best news EVER

I've probably used that headline before but when you have memory problems it's like the NBC in the summer "it's new to you" campaign. Anyways, this gem from CNN fits the billing. From the headline to the last quote it's everything you'd want not only from your government but from "the leader in cable news." My friend/enemy Dru has also done some fine scouring recently on CNN and he's much funnier than I in that he links things and does longer explanations. We a simple folk blog, not caveman, but simple folk. There are differences.

surest sign of aging

There once was a time where on April 20th I'd for sure be guaranteed to look like this:


But alas, now I can only settle for this:


Oh youth (and weed), how you are wasted on the young.

-written from my desk in my office :(

Thank god for some sense in this crazy world

As a proud Californian I crap myself daily living in fear of "the big one", an earthquake that will wipe out everything I know and love, including you dear Monstro Blog readers! Noooooooo, ahhhhhhhh, the horror. But honestly, I'm sick of hearing seismologists and their supposedly expert opinions. They don't know shit. People who do know shit however, are Iranians! Just read this excellent explanation of why natural disasters are befalling the planet. Whores! Thank god for at least some sensible approaches to real world problems!

Considering the fact I may be an alien

A little background. I've developed the same mysterious rash on my side and back in October and now yesterday. I've gone to the doctor to get it checked out and no one has any clue what it is except that I have an abnormal amount of white blood cells in my blood. This has led me to the conclusion that it is possible that I might be an alien. I obviously don't think I'm an alien but I have no way of knowing, there's no Birther movement out there like for Obama that is scrutinizing so deeply my entry moment into earth.

I'm wondering if all the theory about earthly conquest and domination by aliens are wrong. What if aliens are sort of like immigrants who don't tell their children where they come from because they would much rather quietly assimilate and not make a big deal about their alien-ness, except in the unfortunate events of blood tests turning up a little weird.

C90x garbixion rengloidensuis

Here's another thing I was just realizing, if you want to seem like you talk legit Alien you either use an abnormal amount of "x"'s or make things seem like they are in Latin, I don't really speak alien.

You are no longer allowed to say "lamestream media" again. Ever.

New pet peeve: conservatives who think they're being cute and/or original by using the novelty term "lamestream media" when ripping on the press.

It's not cute.

It's not original.

But it is annoying as hell. So for godsakes stop it already; consider your privileges revoked.