2011

2011 has just begun and I can't wait for it to be over. According the Amish the world is supposed to end next year, but I have to wait the gestation period of a blue whale before I can expect anything to start exploding. There are two blue whales having sex somewhere off Easter Island (this is a romantic spot for whales I am told) and right when that baby whale swims for the first time, everyone living on land is going to be panicing and murdering each other because their credit cards don't work and Facebook won't let them upload pictures from their smartphones. There will be Banana Republics burning to the ground. It will be like the end of "Fight Club" except that the weird woman who is married to Tim Burton won't be there. 

The worse thing about 2010 was gauge earrings. This fashion style is so played out it isn't even funny. If you aren't a seven-foot Masai warrior about to kill a lion with a spear, your gauges make you look like an asshole. Peace!