Have Pigs Flown?

I never thought I'd see the day that Taco Bell introduced a healthy diet menu, but lo and behold such things have happened. As the article suggests, from the place that thought 7 layers were adequate for a bean dip and calling things a "fourth meal" this is a real surprise. Also, who the fuck really thinks anything you can get from that shithole is going to make you look better. It is seriously some of the nastiest shit that is out there. I never really eat fast food anymore, haven't for years but a mere two days ago I was walking to a meeting and had a sudden and undeniable need to use the bathroom. The corner gas station bathroom that I was nearest to was out of service so they pointed me down the block to the joint KFC/Taco Hell. I walked in and asked for the bathroom key to which I was told I had to be a customer. Just the fact that KFC and Taco Smell have joined forces to share a building and put their menus side by side should be a clear sign to anyone voluntarily entering said space as a customer that they have merged from the onramp onto a highway to hell. Anyways, I scanned the menu to find how much not shitting my pants was going to cost me and the answer was a financially reassuring 79 cents in the form of a "cheese roll-up" which I bought and then threw out immediately. It was literally a tortilla with a piece of cheese half melted inside it defrosted from the freezer. In other words it was a poor attempt to recreate a 3am frat snack.

So here's the takeaway. Taco Bell is marketing this new thing all wrong. They should talk about how cheap as shit their food is, which would enable you to get a gym membership more easily than if you paid say 3 or 4 times as much for shit from other, more expensive fast food spots.