Fuck You Sunglasses

I like sunglasses. Who doesn't? They shield your eyes from the sun. I am a fan of the sun, but not in the sense that its ultraviolet rays burn holes in my skull. I have a few pairs of sunglasses, but if you have only one pair, you should have a "Fuck You" pair of sunglasses.

What constitutes a pair of Fuck You sunglasses? First and foremost, you shouldn't be able to see your eyes. If they don't reflect others' insecure gazes right back at them, then they simply won't do as Fuck You sunglasses. Secondly, they must have style. I'm not saying they have to be expensive; there are plenty of idiots strolling around with D&G sunglasses that do nothing to improve that person's social dominance. Fuck You sunglasses should make others not want to look you in the face. They should be intimidating. They should make a pitbull whine and scamper away. They should, in the simplest form, say "fuck you" to anyone and everyone that stares at you. If you have the right pair of FYS, even delivering a smile to others will make them wonder what it is you just screwed them out of.