Typical Liberal Bullshit

It is so typical of Dan to complain about taxation, or about government in general for that matter. Dan likes to complain because Dan takes his freedoms for granted. The silver spoon in Dan's hand at birth was more like a silver spade, with gold leaf, and his name "Dan Scorpio Baxter" engraved right on the handle. That silver spade was undoubtedly placed in his hands for the sole purpose of digging the graves of all the poor working men out there. But I want to ask Dan, and all of you, where would we be without taxes? Have you ever heard of the Wild West? Bandits would go around and shoot anyone they pleased. The old ranchers would come out of their house and shoot at any strangers that came onto the property, so terrified were they of the vicious bandits that murdered without remorse. Well, one day some guy with a handlebar moustache out in Washington D.C. decided that he should start taxing the western territories, to get more money to buy pocketwatches and monocles and other goods to clip to his vest with a fine gold chain. To get these taxes back to Washington, Abraham Lincoln invented stage coaches and treasure chests. He put the taxes in the stage coaches and right away the bandits stopped killing ranchers and started robbing the stagecoaches. If not for taxes, your ancestors would be in a grave right now.