It was time immemorial and all the stopwatches had stopped clicking a rythym that any of us even tried to understand, it was weird being as two and having one more suddenly in the room. I stared at the ocean and it raised breathlessly or rather effortlessly, as effortless as a breath and me on a cliff witnessed the whole pacific ocean exhale as the mighty lung that it is. We are taught as children that the oceans are 75% of the earth's surface and from space the oceans are what me believe visually at least that the earth is a living planet, and there it is boom, they are lungs, lung take in air, filter it and keep us alive, peep that alveoli fish, yum dude thanks for your crevices.
All that politics is is people seeing how long they can hold on to ideals before turning to dark sides and then in turn how long they can keep the wool over people's eyes even when they have embraced the darkness. But way better than Star Wars, that's why I love non-fiction, william jefferson, but what about ted kennedy, he has drank himself back into idealism and that my friends is a beautiful thing.
I am pulling hard for Togo in the world cup.
6/9/06
6/8/06
My brain thinks up stories.
I am going to share a dream I had last night with all of you, mainly because it's one of the weirdest dreams I've had in a long time. Also, it is now officially a recurring dream, so that makes it special. A celebration is in order.
Dream:
I am at my school, Whitman College, and all the buildings are about three times their normal size and height. The library is about the size of the Seattle Public Library, etc. As I wander through campus with some friends, I notice that there is an unusually large amount of people gathering near the the athletic center, which is roughly the size of a large office building. Thousands of people are gathered around, many of them running past me to see what is going on around the corner. For some reason, I don't follow the crowd, and instead go into the library and look at children's books, and then I browse the gift shop.(Whitman's library has no gift shop, only a crappy coffee dispenser and an old microwave for heating up frozen burritos) My curiosity gets the best of me, but for whatever reason I don't want to leave the library so I ride an elevator up several stories until my line of sight clears the athletic center and I can see what the large crowd is gathering for. It turns out the crowd has gathered to see a rather large, living dinosaur. It looks like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but is again about three times larger, making it tower over the buildings around it and making the people gathered below it look like ants. The thing about this dinosaur is that it doesn't look really natural. It looks like it is a totem pole dinosaur...like it was illustrated by a native American from the Pacific Northwest.
So, this strange looking dinosaur is PISSED that it is on display for thousands of gawkers. As only happens in dreams, the second I notice that the dinosaur is secured rather poorly with a surprisingly thin rope around its neck, the rope breaks. The people don't seem to mind. They keep gawking. I am standing on the 30th floor of the huge library, and the dinosaur, as only happens in dreams, looks directly at me and beings to approach the library, completely ignoring the thousands of people who are still calmly watching the dinosaur leave the secured area and start charging a building. I immediately panic and do what anyone else would do who was in an elevator staring at an oversized dinosaur charging at them. I hit "B" on the elevator's glowing buttons, and the elevator carried me to the basement of the library. I started walking down a concrete hallway lit by dim and flickering fluorescent lights, and I wake up.
Dream:
I am at my school, Whitman College, and all the buildings are about three times their normal size and height. The library is about the size of the Seattle Public Library, etc. As I wander through campus with some friends, I notice that there is an unusually large amount of people gathering near the the athletic center, which is roughly the size of a large office building. Thousands of people are gathered around, many of them running past me to see what is going on around the corner. For some reason, I don't follow the crowd, and instead go into the library and look at children's books, and then I browse the gift shop.(Whitman's library has no gift shop, only a crappy coffee dispenser and an old microwave for heating up frozen burritos) My curiosity gets the best of me, but for whatever reason I don't want to leave the library so I ride an elevator up several stories until my line of sight clears the athletic center and I can see what the large crowd is gathering for. It turns out the crowd has gathered to see a rather large, living dinosaur. It looks like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but is again about three times larger, making it tower over the buildings around it and making the people gathered below it look like ants. The thing about this dinosaur is that it doesn't look really natural. It looks like it is a totem pole dinosaur...like it was illustrated by a native American from the Pacific Northwest.
So, this strange looking dinosaur is PISSED that it is on display for thousands of gawkers. As only happens in dreams, the second I notice that the dinosaur is secured rather poorly with a surprisingly thin rope around its neck, the rope breaks. The people don't seem to mind. They keep gawking. I am standing on the 30th floor of the huge library, and the dinosaur, as only happens in dreams, looks directly at me and beings to approach the library, completely ignoring the thousands of people who are still calmly watching the dinosaur leave the secured area and start charging a building. I immediately panic and do what anyone else would do who was in an elevator staring at an oversized dinosaur charging at them. I hit "B" on the elevator's glowing buttons, and the elevator carried me to the basement of the library. I started walking down a concrete hallway lit by dim and flickering fluorescent lights, and I wake up.
6/6/06
Vampires are tools.
I am watching the first Blade movie on TV right now. Blade paints a non-flattering picture of the modern vampire, but Blade is by no means unique in this portrayal. There was that movie Underworld, and I think Tokyo Drift is about vampires, but I just assume that because of all the leather and Japanese people.
The modern media vampire has really become more of a fashion and sex icon than a terrifying mythical creature. The vampires in these movies are leather-clad, makeup-wearing, martini-drinking dandies. They seem to be more concerned with what kind of product they use in their hair rather than taking over the human race. They don't even listen to good techno music. They listen to Rob Zombie remixes. They lounge around on couches and talk about taking over the human race, and when they eventually devise a scheme, it's never something logical like "since we're immortal, let's just work it so that we get a vampire in charge of every major corporation and country in the world." It's always some scheme that has to do with bringing a "blood god" to earth. It's like a bunch of stoners sitting in the living room and devising a hair-brained plan to acquire 22 pizzas with $5. It's pretty much doomed from the beginning, but god help you if you try to stop them.
When did vampires become metrosexual supermodels? I think it started with that movie starring Tom Cruise, Interview With A Vampire. That presented a dandy victorian vampire that floofed around high society nipping people on the neck and shouting "Oh dear" whenever blood got on his ruffled collar. As a result, goths everyone have taken inspiration from these films to get their cheap fashion ideas. Though most goths (at least the teenage ones hanging around outside of Coffee Perk that act deviant) are about as dangerous as a Beanie Baby. The vampire needs some serious re-thinking.
The modern media vampire has really become more of a fashion and sex icon than a terrifying mythical creature. The vampires in these movies are leather-clad, makeup-wearing, martini-drinking dandies. They seem to be more concerned with what kind of product they use in their hair rather than taking over the human race. They don't even listen to good techno music. They listen to Rob Zombie remixes. They lounge around on couches and talk about taking over the human race, and when they eventually devise a scheme, it's never something logical like "since we're immortal, let's just work it so that we get a vampire in charge of every major corporation and country in the world." It's always some scheme that has to do with bringing a "blood god" to earth. It's like a bunch of stoners sitting in the living room and devising a hair-brained plan to acquire 22 pizzas with $5. It's pretty much doomed from the beginning, but god help you if you try to stop them.
When did vampires become metrosexual supermodels? I think it started with that movie starring Tom Cruise, Interview With A Vampire. That presented a dandy victorian vampire that floofed around high society nipping people on the neck and shouting "Oh dear" whenever blood got on his ruffled collar. As a result, goths everyone have taken inspiration from these films to get their cheap fashion ideas. Though most goths (at least the teenage ones hanging around outside of Coffee Perk that act deviant) are about as dangerous as a Beanie Baby. The vampire needs some serious re-thinking.
6/5/06
Mama didn't raise no fool.
I lived in a house with ten other guys, ten other cool guys who I enjoyed spending my time with. Everyone had their little quirks and entertaining hobbies. Everyone had their pet peeves and distinct method of pissing on the toilet seat. You know you have lived with a group of guys too long when you can identify their respective laundry when you haul it half-dry out of the drier and dump it onto the floor.
Over graduation weekend I noticed another strange trend with all of these guys; everyone has a cool mom. Every mom I talked too was outgoing, fun, and almost overly talkative. Not to say that these moms are without their own personal quirks; on the contrary I think that the moms most likely have deeper, darker quirks that gave rise to more sociable versions in their sons. Aaron spends a lot of his time around the house naked, so I can only assume that Mrs. Mandel has a rather lax clothing policy when she goes to the grocery store or to pick up something from the post office.
Over graduation weekend I noticed another strange trend with all of these guys; everyone has a cool mom. Every mom I talked too was outgoing, fun, and almost overly talkative. Not to say that these moms are without their own personal quirks; on the contrary I think that the moms most likely have deeper, darker quirks that gave rise to more sociable versions in their sons. Aaron spends a lot of his time around the house naked, so I can only assume that Mrs. Mandel has a rather lax clothing policy when she goes to the grocery store or to pick up something from the post office.
6/3/06
The Crazy Dog Man
The other night was the birthday of Ryan Goeden, a friend of mine from school who I have always regarded more as an older brother than as a peer. Ryan runs what he calls a successful business. Ryan runs what I call a successful pyramid scheme. He takes my categorization of his work lightly...mainly because he makes more money than me. A lot more money than me. Anyway, it was Ryan's birthday, and Ryan wanted to have a bonfire. I have seen Ryan around fires before and he behaves for the most part, so all the friends in Walla Walla agreed to meet up behind our fraternity house's fire pit. The fire was going along great with the exception of a couple dogs making a mess of things by disappearing into the darkness, prompting drunken summons from their owners. Needless to say it was rather shocking to see two more dogs than there should have been emerge from an alley. They looked mean, and attached to the end of their leashes was a bearded gentleman with too-short jean shorts and one of those looks that you see in the eyes of street people and circus performers; you don't really know what's going to happen next, but you know that it's going to be crazy.
"Can I help you?" I asked, assuming that I would get an answer along the lines of "Yeah, can you tell me where my spaceship is?" Surprisingly, he simply stated that he brought his dogs over because they were getting along with my friends' dogs. He hung out for a couple minutes, got his mutts, and left. No problem. No crazy outburst. He didn't pull his penis out. He disn't attack anybody. He went completely against everyone's assumptions, and the reason that we had these assumptions in the first place is that he was exhuding the appearance of crazy. He looked and dressed crazy. We simply stereotyped him. It happens every day.
"Can I help you?" I asked, assuming that I would get an answer along the lines of "Yeah, can you tell me where my spaceship is?" Surprisingly, he simply stated that he brought his dogs over because they were getting along with my friends' dogs. He hung out for a couple minutes, got his mutts, and left. No problem. No crazy outburst. He didn't pull his penis out. He disn't attack anybody. He went completely against everyone's assumptions, and the reason that we had these assumptions in the first place is that he was exhuding the appearance of crazy. He looked and dressed crazy. We simply stereotyped him. It happens every day.
5/30/06
Nature, Science, and Religon
It has recently come to my attention that in the entire world there are only three catagories of things. Every single thing is either an example of Nature, Science, or Religion. Let me explain through example.
Nature is everything that just is. Humans are nature. So are dogs. So are trees and rivers and the plague. Nature. Nature exists whether or not people fuck with it. Humans try to interpret nature through both Science and Religion.
Science is everything that humans make. Humans are the only parts of Nature which can do Science. I know that some monkeys and birds and bacteria use sticks and shit to get their food and scratch their paramecium or whatever, but that isn't Science, that's just using a stick. Humans have made cars (science), plastic (science), and bombs (science). That's what humans do. We run over, laminate, and blow-up your puny sticks.
Religion is everything that humans think... that they don't understand. If humans can't make science out of some part of nature, they make it religion (think the Greeks with the sun- they couldn't build solar panels, so they decided it was a god in a chariot.) Religion gets tricky when Science has some answer for something that Religion has had the stranglehold on for awhile. Religion is real bad at letting go.
So there you go. Three simple catagories which comprise every single thing ever. This theory is still fresh, so if anyone has any questions about how to catagorize something, please ask.
(6/4 Edit) I was talking about the theory with my buddy and came up with a few more things to say: Nature exists in everything, but Humans manipulate nature, either literally through Science or figuratively through Nature. Art is tricky, but I believe that while the practise of art, the technical creation is Science, the product is Religion. Art is a way for people to understand and express things that are outside of our own capacities. Art is Religion.
Nature is everything that just is. Humans are nature. So are dogs. So are trees and rivers and the plague. Nature. Nature exists whether or not people fuck with it. Humans try to interpret nature through both Science and Religion.
Science is everything that humans make. Humans are the only parts of Nature which can do Science. I know that some monkeys and birds and bacteria use sticks and shit to get their food and scratch their paramecium or whatever, but that isn't Science, that's just using a stick. Humans have made cars (science), plastic (science), and bombs (science). That's what humans do. We run over, laminate, and blow-up your puny sticks.
Religion is everything that humans think... that they don't understand. If humans can't make science out of some part of nature, they make it religion (think the Greeks with the sun- they couldn't build solar panels, so they decided it was a god in a chariot.) Religion gets tricky when Science has some answer for something that Religion has had the stranglehold on for awhile. Religion is real bad at letting go.
So there you go. Three simple catagories which comprise every single thing ever. This theory is still fresh, so if anyone has any questions about how to catagorize something, please ask.
(6/4 Edit) I was talking about the theory with my buddy and came up with a few more things to say: Nature exists in everything, but Humans manipulate nature, either literally through Science or figuratively through Nature. Art is tricky, but I believe that while the practise of art, the technical creation is Science, the product is Religion. Art is a way for people to understand and express things that are outside of our own capacities. Art is Religion.
MySpace is cool for all the wrong reasons.
I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the online networking website called MySpace but it's pretty rediculous. There are Fox News stories once a week about how it is tainting the youth, but back in the 1600's people thought novels would taint the youth too, and now if you see your 15 year-old kid reading a novel you know for damn sure that he/she isn't going around smoking pot, unless the novel they are reading is Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and then you should be proud of the fact that your kid is reading Hunter S. Thompson. Either way, you win. Anyway, MySpace allows people to make online profiles of themselves to share with their "friends" that they have on the site. I parenthesize "friends" because all a MySpace friend is is someone who mutually agrees to share this title with you. You can friend someone you've never met before that lives in Boston, and if they think you're hot or have a cool car or whatever the fuck the standard is, then you can be friends with them. This is the main reason you see a lot of profiles with pictures of dudes flexing their muscles or showing off their tattoos. They must think it increases the likelihood that some stripper will befriend them. Whether or not that stripper will have sex with them is a different story, but from the looks of how people socialize using the MySpace network, I'm pretty sure this fact is lost to a sizeable portion of the online community that uses the site. Most pages seem dedicated to picking up members of the opposite sex, including the profile of a girl I graduated high school with.
I am not "friends" with this girl, nor would I encourage anyone to be, but I was browsing through a list of people who have profiles that I graduated with, and I got curious. It turns out that her page is some sort of Narcissistic self-glorifying softporn website, with pictures of herself in lingere and other shit like that. Not sexy, but strange. I'm pretty sure this girl's profile could be some psychology student's senior thesis, simply because it so obviously reflects self-image issues that makes me not want to make fun of someone who spends only 30 minutes in front of the mirror. This girl is freakin' nuts, and now she has the free means to broadcast her insanity to the world.
Go sign up for account and check out all the crazy people you graduated with. It's fun, and a huge waste of time. But I've got nothing better to do.
I am not "friends" with this girl, nor would I encourage anyone to be, but I was browsing through a list of people who have profiles that I graduated with, and I got curious. It turns out that her page is some sort of Narcissistic self-glorifying softporn website, with pictures of herself in lingere and other shit like that. Not sexy, but strange. I'm pretty sure this girl's profile could be some psychology student's senior thesis, simply because it so obviously reflects self-image issues that makes me not want to make fun of someone who spends only 30 minutes in front of the mirror. This girl is freakin' nuts, and now she has the free means to broadcast her insanity to the world.
Go sign up for account and check out all the crazy people you graduated with. It's fun, and a huge waste of time. But I've got nothing better to do.
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