Bracelets

Bracelets, is it legit for a man to wear them? Sometimes yes, sometimes no, and it entirely depends on what type of fashion statement you're trying to make.

The first type of bracelet that it is always legit to wear is what the Dungeons & Dragons community prefer to call a bracer. Bracers are elongated bracelets, commonly used back in the swordfighting days to protect your forearms against getting chopped off. As far as I can tell bracers are also used in place of wearing a shirt. As you can see from the gubernatorial portrait of Mssr. Arnold Schwarzenegger, having little pearl-like dangly-thingies hanging from your bracer does not make it unmanly, but if you choose to take this particular fashion route you must also be carrying a sword in the hand that is paired with the pearly bracer.

The next type of bracelet that it is always legit to wear is sweatbands. Extra points if your sweatbands contain a playbook. Extra points if you are also dating a supermodel. The sweatband is similar to the bracer in that its manly appropriateness entirely depends on how dominant of a force the wearer is. A 4'8'' 300lb. 6th grader trying to make the middle school team does not necessarily fall into the category of "stylistically legit" just because he spent $50 on a package of uniform-matching Under Armour sweatbands.

 

 The "cause" bracelet is touchy territory. At times it can show a sensitivity and cultural awareness that the bracer and the sweatband do not exhibit, but the cause bracelet also falls victim to the vicious trend vulture. Men must avoid jewelry trends at all costs, and even if it benefits a good cause, the donning of trendy jewelry must be used with care. By no means should you ever wear a "false" cause bracelet. Livestrong is fine, you can even get away with a pink breast cancer awareness bracelet. Just don't wear a green one that has a pot leaf and says "legalize it." You will just look like a douche.