Zeppelin Could Return!!

This article on my precious Wired.com informs us that a company based in San Francisco is trying to bring back the noble airship that met its technological end when the Hindenberg exploded into a million tiny bits of ultra-charged metal film. Since antiquated technologies seem to be moving back into the forefront, lets take a gander at other possible scientific discoveries that have gone by the wayside that we could re-introduce for a profit...or perhaps just another disastrous public explosion.

Steam Power - There is nothing more noble than the clean power of steam. For almost one decade, man was convinced that steam was the wave of the future. Why can't it be again? We are having a fuel crisis, and water is cheap and readily available. I can buy or steal as much as I need. As long as people are willing to sacrifice speed, safety, and maneuverability in their automobiles, steam power can make a triumphant return to our lives.

Mercury - Isaac Newton once took a spoonful of mercury every morning, believing that the elemental liquid metal has mystical health properties. Subsequent years of study by so called "scientists" has claimed that mercury actually poisons the brain. Let's look closer. Isaac Newton INVENTED CALCULUS. Then there are the pregnant moms who are suing left and right because of supposed mercury poisoning. Sounds like a bunch of free-loaders looking for a one-way ticket into a higher tax bracket. I say we go back to a spoonful a day and watch as humans become a race of mathematical wizards.

Man In The Moon Theory - It was once thought, by legitimate scientists (mercurially inspired), that the moon contained some sort of giant sentient being who looked down on the earth. Whether or not his actions were benevolent or evil were uncertain, but as far as the scientists could tell, he was a rather harmless old crone who just stared down during full moons. This theory was "disproved" when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon and found out that it wasn't a giant face, but just a load of rocks. I don't think it is coincidental that after his landing, the world has been stricken by religious zealot terrorists. The Man In The Moon has finally asserted his true intent after tricking America's greatest warrior. We must strike quick and fast if the Moon Man is to be defeated. Let us blow apart the moon!