Out of all the holidays we celebrate, the Fourth of July may be the most troubling. It is a holiday of great significance which we celebrate in a most insignificant way. Like, the complete opposite of Halloween.
On this most recent of manifestations, I was driving home around 9pm and beautiful Walla Walla was lit up like a war zone as pyromaniacs and fetishists got their kicks out hard on the streets. I was reminded of that scene in Apocalypse Now where Martin Sheen is like "Who's in charge here?" and the guy shrugs and launches another rocket propelled grenade.
Fireworks are simulated weapons. We encourage kids to play with these danger toys, which approximate the "rockets' red glare" which freed our infant nation from English Tyranny. The irony is, every year English Tyranny continues to claim our infant fingers and eyeballs.
We put a Walmart gloss over the holiday in order to market it. We sing songs and undercook meat. Which is awesome, but shouldn't be confused with patriotism.
I have a recommendation. If you have an inclination to make the holiday real, go ask Grandad or uncle Pauly Hole about the war. Bask in their story telling and consider the significance of a gang of rich white men in the 18th century who chose to create a democracy instead of installing themselves as monarchs.
Or if you just like blowing things up, enlist and do it legally.
This post has been brought to you by Transformers, a film by Michael Bay and the US Army.
"Out of all the holidays we celebrate, the Fourth of July may be the most troubling. It is a holiday of great significance which we celebrate in a most insignificant way. Like, the complete opposite of Halloween"
ReplyDeleteI take offence when you imply Halloween is somehow insignificant. It's simply not true. How dare you insult my religion. I call forth the denizens of the netherworld to put a hex upon you. May carbucles sprout upon your nose for seven years!