4/18/11
Even more stuff I don't care about
On the theme of my last post about not giving a shit about when dinosaurs hunted for food, this latest article, coincidentally also from the BBC, talking about if the Last Supper was on a Monday or a Wednesday. WHO GIVES A FUCK!>!?>!!> Am I the only one who finds these sort of things so so so so so dumb? I think my main problem is actually more along the lines of "things British people consider newsworthy." Stay tuned.
4/14/11
Something I am now sick of
I was going to write "2 things I am now sick of" and bemoan how the Holocaust has become its own genre for movies and entertainment, but whatever, it keeps deniers on their heels and Daniel Craig in the acting game, so whatever.
What I am really sick of is reading articles telling me about how dinosaurs used to behave. FUCKING SHIT, they went extinct 65 MILLION YEARS AGO. We are bombing the shit out of Libya, which is making way more noise and destruction than anything the dinos ever did, as of one month ago and that has pretty much faded from the headlines. I don't think people understand how long ago 65 MILLION YEARS is. Try this, think about the oldest human stuff you can remember hearing about, it was maybe 1 million years ago.
As cool as it was that dinosaurs had functional brains, did shit at night and either did or did not do other awesome things, they had their epoch, they are gone, get over it. Reptiles don't cry, you shouldn't either.
What I am really sick of is reading articles telling me about how dinosaurs used to behave. FUCKING SHIT, they went extinct 65 MILLION YEARS AGO. We are bombing the shit out of Libya, which is making way more noise and destruction than anything the dinos ever did, as of one month ago and that has pretty much faded from the headlines. I don't think people understand how long ago 65 MILLION YEARS is. Try this, think about the oldest human stuff you can remember hearing about, it was maybe 1 million years ago.
As cool as it was that dinosaurs had functional brains, did shit at night and either did or did not do other awesome things, they had their epoch, they are gone, get over it. Reptiles don't cry, you shouldn't either.
4/12/11
Creative museum ideas
In honor of me reading about the seemingly awesome-sounding Iceland penis museum I sit here wondering what other crazy museums might be out there, just waiting for me to visit with my mail order bride?
What about:
- Museum of abnormally large boogers or shits
- Museum of ugly pets/children that parents/owners considered cute
- Museum with taxidermy animals that were the last of their breeds before being shot for game and rendered extinct.
Other ideas?
What about:
- Museum of abnormally large boogers or shits
- Museum of ugly pets/children that parents/owners considered cute
- Museum with taxidermy animals that were the last of their breeds before being shot for game and rendered extinct.
Other ideas?
4/7/11
America the Beautiful
I'm not sure what's funnier, the fact that this awesome April Fool's prank happened or that a second degree assault charge is stemming from it!
4/5/11
The anti-therapist
Therapy is a very established yet regimented profession.
You sit on a couch, or perhaps a comfortable chair and talk with someone who is very kind, understanding yet has the not-so-hidden agenda of using that understanding and kindness as a way of analyzing, critiquing and altering you in some way. I believe, however, that balance, a zen-like middle path, is the way to success in life. Therapy as we know it has swung the pendulum too far in one direction and I see it as my duty to re-balance the force. I want to propose that anyone seeking therapy must also sign up for anti-therapy with a licensed anti-therapist.
The anti-therapist would augment what the therapist is doing with a heavy dose of realtalk. Depressed? Probably because you're fat ugly and single. Having trouble with your spouse? Get a job and some disposable income. Considering ending it all? Run a cost-benefit for the world and do the responsible thing.
Out of the therapist/anti-therapist combination will rise a heartier species, coddled yet challenged; ready for the world in all of its layered glory.
Also, this
You sit on a couch, or perhaps a comfortable chair and talk with someone who is very kind, understanding yet has the not-so-hidden agenda of using that understanding and kindness as a way of analyzing, critiquing and altering you in some way. I believe, however, that balance, a zen-like middle path, is the way to success in life. Therapy as we know it has swung the pendulum too far in one direction and I see it as my duty to re-balance the force. I want to propose that anyone seeking therapy must also sign up for anti-therapy with a licensed anti-therapist.
The anti-therapist would augment what the therapist is doing with a heavy dose of realtalk. Depressed? Probably because you're fat ugly and single. Having trouble with your spouse? Get a job and some disposable income. Considering ending it all? Run a cost-benefit for the world and do the responsible thing.
Out of the therapist/anti-therapist combination will rise a heartier species, coddled yet challenged; ready for the world in all of its layered glory.
Also, this
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