Drinking a good wine.

In my humble opinion, something everyone should be able to do is drink a good bottle of wine. This falls into the same category as being able to drive a car with a manual transmission and being able to eat an entire pizza in one sitting. There are certain things a man should be able to do without thinking and without hesitation, if for no other reason than to contribute directly to his personal myth, so that some day, long after he is gone, people will remember him as being taller than he actually was.

Drinking a good bottle of wine is very different from choosing a good bottle of wine. There are undoubtedly thousands of articles available readily on Google that will give you all sorts of tips on what wine goes with mussels, pork chops, or filet mignon. There are just as many articles refuting the statements of the previous articles saying, no, in fact, if you knew anything about wine, you would choose this other wine that tastes very similar to the previous wine but is actually very different because if you swirl it around in the back of your tongue you might get a hint of grass clippings, which really makes clam chowder 'pop.' These articles are useful to a degree, but ultimately your enjoyment of wine is dictated by another factor entirely, not the characteristics of the wine itself.

Drinking a good bottle of wine is all about drinking with relish. Pour aggressively and don't worry about spilling. A common mistake I see many people make is that they treat wine like it is a precious commodity, like they're wringing water out of a cat carcass in a post-Apocalyptic wasteland. Wine is the drink of the gods! Jesus made barrels of the stuff! It is funny, walking into a wine shop that is filled with hundreds of gallons of wine, that anyone would walk out of that place with any thought of reserve in terms of the consumption of the bottle they are leaving with. Additionally, I am insulted every time a waiter pours me a small glass; I am always tempted to grab the bottle, take a long drink, and shoot the bartender. Wine is not precious, wine is not scarce. Stop treating it like it is. The Greeks did not, and they invented geometry.

"Grown Ups" sucks ass

I am in between stints where I am largely away from computers, phones, movies and other modern pleasures. I took the opportunity whilst in the bay area to see "Grown Ups" which fucking sucks.

Whoever Dennis Dugan (the director of this movie) is, he's brain dead and directed this movie on autopilot. The plot is cheesy as hell and the only good jokes are when the all-star cast of comedians is clearly allowed to improv and fire off one-liners. This shit is sad.